Fixation
by Starsabove0oru
Summary: He never thought he would fall for a prostitute. AU, Spock/Uhura. -ON HIATUS-
1. Prologue

**He never thought he would fall for a prostitute. AU, Spock/Uhura. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, the good Mr. Roddenberry does.**

**Warnings: Rated Teen for sexuality, language, and violence. I will eventually change the rating to Mature. **

* * *

**FIXATION:**

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

He never thought he would fall for a prostitute, but to be fair, the first time Spock saw her, she was in a bookstore. It wasn't exactly where he expected to meet someone with a scandalous job such as hers. Upon looking at her for the first time, he could not guess her profession. He could tell that she was a bit flirtatious, friendly, and charming, but the half-Vulcan didn't think she was promiscuous at all. He could still recall this particular memory clear in his mind, as if it had happened hours before instead of weeks.

* * *

It was a beautiful spring day in San Francisco. The school year was almost over and finals were right around the corner. It was one of the last weekends Spock would have to be meticulously grading papers. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was relieved. For the most part, his students had been merely satisfactory and nothing more. Every once in a while, he would get that _one_ interesting student, but alas, this term he had met no such student.

Spock strolled down one of the city's older, less crowded streets. It had been decorated with quaint little shops here and there, some restaurants, and a few apartment buildings. Finally, something caught his eye. A tiny bookstore, wedged in between a candy shop and a boutique that sold stylish jewelry and other secular items that held no importance to him. The bookstore had snagged his attention, simply because it was probably one of the only ones in San Francisco, if not the _only_ one.

The half-Vulcan pulled the door open and a tiny, dinging sound was heard. He studied his new surroundings with interest. Bookshelves had been sporadically placed all around the room: tall ones, short ones, wide ones, narrow ones, and many more. At least, Spock noted, there were signs above each shelf, indicating the genre its contents held. He saw a staircase in the distance leading to the back of the store.

Spock's eyebrow rose as he caught sight of a sign that read: "Vulcan" and instantly sought out the corresponding bookcase. With pleasure concealed behind dark eyes, he began to scour through each and every title.

He was concentrating so hard on reading titles that he didn't even realize anyone else was in the bookstore until he heard foreign voices growing nearer. The male stiffened, straining to hear what they were saying. One of the voices was familiar to him, a student perhaps? But the other wasn't. And it didn't help that they were speaking in another language. It sounded like Orion…

"Commander Spock?" A shocked voice broke him out of his reverie. Spock turned around, only to see two females before him. He noted the green skin, the red hair. Gaila, one of his students from the beginning of the year… she was rather intelligent and motivated, a promising student.

"Yes?" Spock raised an eyebrow, not expecting to see anyone he recognized. While he had been surprised to see Gaila in a bookstore that was so far away from campus, it was her companion that nearly caused him to widen his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was that she was clearly human and had been speaking Orion with such eloquence that he had assumed just by hearing her voice that she _was_ Orion. She was dressed in an orange, short-sleeved shirt and plain jeans, a bit tight, just enough to show off her curves. Her dark complexion contrasted with the bright color on her shirt. She wore her hair up in a high ponytail and the tresses reached the middle of her back. But her smile, her smile was the most welcoming gesture he had seen in a while.

"So you're Commander Spock. I've heard about you." The female raised her brown eyes to look directly into his. There was a faint twinkle in her eyes.

"Nyota I swear-" Gaila interrupted herself, biting her lip. _She better not get me in trouble…_ But she knew attraction when she saw it and the Orion girl could tell that there was a connection between the two of them. Of course, it could never be.

Nyota… Nyota was her name. It was an exquisite name. Spock took in her soft facial features once more before he spoke. "What exactly have you heard?"

"Well, before I begin, I'm Nyota Uhura." The girl chuckled, leaning against the nearby bookcase. "And I've heard from quite a couple cadets that you are a difficult teacher, a hard grader, and your exams are near impossible to pass." Gaila, smirking slightly, went over to the Orion section… partially because she wanted them to be alone and partially because she didn't want the Commander to think that she had said those things. Nyota always managed to grab attention, like she, but a Vulcan? Remarkable!

"And you are not a cadet yourself, Ms. Uhura?" Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Me? Nope. Starfleet's not for me." Uhura shrugged nonchalantly.

"You speak Orion very well." Spock pointed out. "If you did not learn the language in the academy, where did you acquire such knowledge?"

"I taught myself." Uhura replied, feeling her cheeks grow warmer. He had complemented her… well actually he was stating a fact, but still. "But there's only so much you can learn by yourself. I had Gaila help me perfect my accent, learn most of Orion's idioms, and master the idiosyncrasies of the language itself. So… now I'm fluent in Orion."

"Interesting. Your intellect surpasses many of those I have taught… and yet you are not a student. How then, did you meet Gaila?" Spock wanted to know more about her. He couldn't calm his curiosity. It was quite odd. Why was he so fascinated with her?

"We work together at a club." Uhura smiled cryptically. "She works part-time, serving drinks, taking orders from customers, you know." Spock didn't respond; he just stared at her. "And I, I dance."

A dancer? A girl her age, fluent in Orion... _was_ a dancer? Something wasn't right. She was clearly gifted; she was most definitely Starfleet material. So why was she working in some club? Spock inwardly frowned. He could tell she wasn't being completely honest with him. But who was he to say anything? She had to have her reasons.

"I see." Spock clasped his hands behind his back, wondering why he hadn't done so sooner. He blamed his behavior on the fatigue; it _was_ the end of the semester. Or at least that was what he was going to tell himself, considering he didn't get tired easily.

"Nyota, I found that Klingon book you were looking for!!" It was as if Gaila knew how awkward things were becoming. The redhead had shouted loudly from the middle of the bookstore.

"Klingon?" Spock questioned expectantly, glad for the change of subject.

"My seventh language." Uhura flashed a grin at him. "I just started on it a few days ago. It took me quite a while to conquer my last language and I wanted to give myself a little break before I started again." Spock said nothing in return and the girl began sauntering towards her friend.

"What language was that?" Spock found himself asking. He was asking too many questions. It was unlike him. At this rate, he would have to meditate for a few extra hours.

She turned around, a coy smirk on her face. "Vulcan." Was all she said, winking once at him and walking away, her ponytail waving back and forth. He knew she had reached Gaila when he distinctly heard Orion yet again. He stood there for a moment, transfixed.

Spock shook his head slightly, trying to clear his thoughts. He had behaved in a manner most unlike himself. There was no reason for him to engage in such a conversation with a female he hardly knew. The half-Vulcan left the bookstore a few moments later without looking back. If he had, he would have seen that Uhura was watching him walk away until he left her field of vision. Meditation indeed.

* * *

"What time are you working?" Uhura turned to her companion now that she couldn't see the Commander anymore. They had switched to English as soon as he left, giggling like the little mischievous girls they were.

"Umm… seven I think. You?" Gaila shook her head, bursting into giggles once more. "I still can't believe it! I've never seen him that interested in anyone before! How do you do it?!?"

"I… I don't know. I wasn't even _trying_… I was just talking to him." Uhura smiled, recalling their conversation in her head.

"So you weren't trying to seduce him?" Gaila threw an arm around Uhura's shoulders and pulled the girl closer, her tone teasing and light.

"No, I wasn't… and that's what scares me." Uhura's voice grew quiet. "I was just being myself for once. I wasn't putting on a show, I didn't have any ulterior motives… I was just talking. It was the first real conversation I've had with a man in a long time…"

"Nyota…" Gaila let out a sigh, gently rubbing the girl's back. "I know you don't want to hear it, but the reason why men are so attracted to you is because you're amazing. You're not typical, you're not normal… you just draw people to you. You're the best at what you do is because no man that ever walks into the club thinks that he has _any_ chance of getting with you. They take one look at you and they think, she's got class, she's sophisticated, she's gorgeous, and she's definitely way out of my league."

"I've got class?" Uhura repeated disdainfully. "I'm a prostitute, Gaila, don't sugarcoat it; don't make me sound better than I am."

"I'm telling the truth! Even the first time I saw you, I couldn't believe it! And the second time!" Gaila protested stubbornly, making Uhura roll her eyes. "So he saw the real you, just like everyone else does! And that's why he liked you!" Uhura blushed in spite of her annoyance. The thought of the half-Vulcan liking her was impossible at best.

"I told him I was a dancer." Uhura admitted guiltily, avoiding the alien's eyes.

"Well… you _do_ dance." Gaila leaned over and gave her friend a kiss on the cheek. "Now I'm sure you have to get ready. There'll be plenty of restless cadets tonight, I'm sure of it. You'll be dealing with some young blood."

"Yeah, you're right." Uhura frowned. "What book was I going to get again?"

"Oh, you're so scatterbrained… okay, never mind… you aren't scatterbrained at all. I must say, if he's had this much of an effect on you, I wonder how you've affected him." Gaila wiggled her eyebrows playfully. "I'll buy the book and bring it to work. You go on now! Go beautify yourself!"

"Ok." Uhura shook her head, grinning at her friend. "I'll see you tonight, Gaila. And thanks!" And with that, the dark-haired teen ran out of the store, a faint dinging noise echoing in her ear as she dashed down the street.

_I'll probably never see him again._ Uhura thought to herself as she hurried along. It was true… he was a teacher at Starfleet… and what was she compared to him? Their worlds had collided, but they would inevitably separate, never to crash again. The sun was beginning to set and she needed to shower, do her hair, her makeup, and she hadn't even picked out an outfit. She planned on eating a hearty dinner, too. Time was certainly not her friend. _Oh… the glorious life of a harlot._ What Nyota Uhura didn't know was that she _would _see Spock again and just as she hadn't forgotten him, he hadn't forgotten her.

* * *

**Haha, so that's it for now. I'd love to hear your opinions, so please let me know what you thought of it! Oh and if you found any mistakes, please tell me! Since this was only the prologue, it was somewhat short. The actual chapters will be longer! :)**


	2. Chapter 1: Fabrications

**Ok so ****I understand that a lot of you are surprised by what I did with Uhura. Well I guess surprised is putting it lightly in some cases lol. And so I said to some of you, I'll explain myself. Because all I can do is explain why I did what I did and continue on writing this story. Prostitution is definitely unbecoming and dehumanizing and the practice itself simply wrong, in my opinion. But I don't think anyone wakes up one day and decides: "Screw being a doctor; I want to be a hooker." I think that some people's lives are so broken, so dark, that they literally think that they have **_**no**_** other options. I don't think those people deserve to be judged. And perhaps, all they need is for someone to believe in them, someone to help them realize that they actually **_**have**_** other options and that they have the power to utilize those options.**

**And that's what this story is all about. It's not about making people disgusted or taking someone who's pure and making them dirty or ruining everyone's quintessential image of Nyota and it's certainly not about glorifying sex, it's about a message I want to convey. And the message is that we all have the ability to brighten someone's world and empower them, no matter how dark that world is. I just happen to be using Spock and Nyota to express that message. That being said, to those of you who are reading this story, I thank you very much and sincerely appreciate everyone who's added my story to their favorites or subscribed to it. And to those who have chosen not to read this story because of Nyota's particular profession; I respect your opinions and thank you for giving them to me. :)**

**That being said for the first and last time lol, here's the chapter. Enjoy!!!

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**

_**Chapter One:**_

_**Fabrications**_

_When I've shown you that I just don't care  
When I'm throwing punches in the air  
When I'm broken down and I can't stand  
Would you be man enough to be my man?_

_Lie to me  
I promise, I'll believe  
Lie to me  
But please don't leave..._

Strong Enough --- Sheryl Crow

_**

* * *

**_

Uhura groaned and rolled over on her stomach. Her body was covered with sweat. She had dreamt about Spock again. It had been over a week since she had last met him… and she had dreamt of him almost every night since. She never remembered everything… but she could always recall his dark eyes, piercing and strong, looking into her very soul. She knew she wouldn't see him again… and she hadn't. But she wanted to.

Uhura wasn't even sure what time she had rolled into her apartment last night, but she remembered taking a rather drunken bath (it was a miracle she hadn't drowned herself, it was yet another art the girl was perfecting: the art of intoxicated bathing), briefly drying herself off, and literally falling into her bed naked, her hair still damp. It had probably been a bad life decision… but since she had become a teenager, she had done nothing but make bad decisions.

The dark-haired girl shook her head swiftly, chasing away those forbidden thoughts. What had happened when she was twelve didn't matter. And besides, it wasn't her fault anyways. Uhura reached under her bed and pulled out a large, white, oversized t-shirt. She squirmed into it, sighed deeply, and plopped back into her sheets. She was just about to fall back asleep when… her PADD began ringing. It had been a birthday present from Gaila. How she had gotten it, Uhura would never know. She didn't ask.

Uhura leaned over her bed so that she could reach the wooden dresser next to it. She pressed a button on her PADD and a familiar, stern face came up on the screen. "Hi, Aunt Bora." Uhura forced herself to smile as she stared into her aunt's cold eyes.

"I trust you've been doing well in California, just as you always have." Aunt Bora began immediately, her voice as icy and sharp as her eyes. "I've sent you your monthly check. If you are in need of any more funds, contact my assistant."

"Ok, thanks. How… how is she?" Uhura inhaled deeply. She never liked to ask that question, but every month she did… and every month she got the same answer.

"She's fine. Her grades are good and she's happy." That was the one thing Aunt Bora seemed to stress… the fact that she was happy.

"I see… that's good." Uhura didn't know what else to say. It was their routine, monthly conversation. Always the same greetings, the same questions, the same answers, and the same formal voice that never failed to drill a hole in her heart. Her aunt certainly lived up to her name, the Swahili word for "snow".

"She has to go to practice, so I must inform the limo driver. Good day… I will call you next month." Aunt Bora said decisively.

"Practice? Practice for what?" Uhura asked eagerly, wanting to know. She always wanted to know.

"It's probably better that you don't know. Goodbye." And with that, her aunt's face vanished from the PADD, leaving Uhura alone.

"Damn bitch…" Uhura let out a long sigh and dropped back onto her bed, still holding the device. She checked the time, realizing that it was almost 10:30 in the morning. "I guess wherever she's going… she has to be there at 1:30." When she first arrived in California, it took her a while to get the time difference, but now she knew that there was a three-hour difference between Cali and New York, just as easily as she knew she had five fingers on each hand. Those lonely, long, three hours.

It was better not to think of it. So, pushing her thoughts aside, Uhura sat up and began to mentally plan the rest of her day. She didn't have work until eight. That was good. Maybe she would go out and get some coffee.

* * *

Uhura walked through the crowded streets of San Francisco, clutching her caramel latte as if it was the only thing keeping her alive. _This thing is a sin… I have an addiction. _The teen told herself… but she didn't care. She loved the taste of it! _Perhaps I'll go to the bookstore today… I could use another Klingon book. _She turned the corner, lost in her thoughts and found herself knocking into something warm… very warm. She was so shocked she dropped her coffee on the ground. She looked up and became even more shocked, because Commander Spock was standing right in front of her calmly. Or at least he looked rather calm, as calm as anyone could look with coffee all over them.

"Oh crap! Sorry, I didn't mean to-" Uhura started babbling, waving her hands around nervously. _I cannot believe this just happened!!_ "Merde!" She swore unintentionally and then covered her mouth in astonishment. "Er… sorry again."

"I assure you, you did no harm to me, if that is the cause of your alarm." Spock raised an eyebrow, somewhat amused by her reaction. "It is I who should be apologizing. I was distracted and as a result, you have lost your beverage."

"Yeah… I lost it all over your shirt." Uhura groaned, still slightly embarrassed. But then, she brightened up unexpectedly. "But then again, you probably did me a favor anyway. I drink too much coffee." Spock said nothing and she began to feel awkward, so she asked the first question that came to her head: "So what are you doing here?"

"I was simply taking a leisurely stroll." Spock responded. "Since you have no coffee, it is only logical for me to purchase another to replace the one you lost."

"How bout some khi-gad-yem instead?" Uhura smirked, her brown eyes lighting up. She _was_ hungry. Spock's eyes widened at the lunch invitation and her near perfect intonation. He quickly recovered himself; he needed to answer her.

"Yes, that should be fine." The corners of Spock's mouth turned up slightly and Uhura's heart skipped a beat.

* * *

The restaurant was crowded and bustling with waiters and waitresses. It was one of Uhura's favorites and Spock could see why. The place had a rather friendly atmosphere, the service was pleasant, and their food had arrived in a timely fashion. The food was delicious, too. They were currently consuming their meals: she had a turkey sandwich with fries and a milkshake, while he had some tasty, but spicy soup and a lush, big salad.

"Hmm…" Uhura hummed out, taking a quick sip from her strawberry milkshake. "Why don't we speak in Vulcan for a bit? You're much better than an audio tape… I hope." Spock instantly replied in Vulcan and they began conversing readily.

They talked about almost everything, but never breaching overly personal subjects. The weather, music, human movies, politics, books, fame, stars, planets, Vulcan itself and eventually the United States of Africa, where she was born. Everything was general and polite and careful, opinions were given and they were either courteously accepted or rejected. They seemed to resonate off of each other, switching topics at whim and focusing on others for minutes at a time. To put it frankly, it was the best discussion both of them had had in a while… but things could only remain unperturbed for so long.

It was Spock who surprisingly switched back to English first. They had been talking for over an hour and neither of them even realized it. "Your Vulcan is nearly impeccable. I am impressed." Spock complemented her, noting the way her heart rate sped up. Indeed, it was quite odd for him to admit being impressed. Actually, it was even odder for someone to impress him at all… so she had accomplished quite a feat.

"Thanks… your English is _almost_ as good." Uhura tried to hide her earlier embarrassment with a little banter. Spock raised an eyebrow in response. She chuckled lightly and then blurted out without thinking: "So has anyone else ever blown off the Vulcan Science Academy and joined Starfleet instead?" _Merde, merde, merde!! I did NOT just say that!!_ She screamed in her head, but Spock's slight frown only confirmed it. "Don't answer that. I'm really sorry. Sometimes that whole tact filter gets-"

"I will answer your question, Ms. Uhura." Spock interrupted her firmly, causing her to gulp tensely. "No, I was the only Vulcan to do so."

"That's pretty cool. It's revolutionary." Uhura visibly relaxed and put her chin into her hand. "I didn't think you were a rebel… kinda reminds me of myself." Then her eyes widened and she froze immediately. _Wow… I'm just saying all kinds of shit today aren't I_? Usually her past wasn't on her mind, usually she kept it as far away as possible, never bringing it up, never thinking about it. Then again, she _had_ talked to her Aunt Bora that morning. So it made sense that her behavior was somewhat abnormal.

"I wouldn't call my behavior rebellious… I simply did not agree with some of the opinions of the Vulcan council. I chose to attend Starfleet Academy instead." Spock seemed to have noticed her emotional change, but decided wisely not to comment on it. It surprised him, nonetheless, how easy it was to bring up his tumultuous past. He had never opened up to someone so easily.

"Oh…" Uhura blinked slowly, more questions forming in her mind. "What opinions? What did they think?"

"I am half-Vulcan, my mother is human. They believed this to be a disadvantage and informed me of this hindrance upon accepting me to the academy." Spock cocked his head slightly to the side. He had spilled enough for one day. He was going to be the one asking the questions now. He was not that comfortable with revealing so much personal information in one sitting. It didn't make any sense.

"Hmm… well you could've fooled me. I had no idea you were-" But that was when Uhura _really_ looked into his eyes. Their gazes locked and she found herself lost in pits of black. His gaze was like an abyss that sucked her in, consumed her… it was unnerving and thrilling at the same time. His eyes… his eyes were definitely human. How could she not have noticed it before?

Their voluntary staring contest was interrupted by their waitress placing a white piece of paper in between them. "Here's the check." The blonde woman smirked down at the both of them, quite amused by what she had seen. They both appeared flustered upon her arrival. "Have a nice day." She tossed the words over her shoulder as she left.

_Things went from awesome to awkward to unbearable… in a matter of minutes. Great…_ Uhura inwardly sighed. What was she doing? Inviting a Vulcan out for a meal? Talking to him as if they were friends? As if she had any _real_ friends besides Gaila. She had made her life so structured, so full of routine, but this was different, this was new… and it scared the hell out of her.

"If I may ask… what rebellious actions have you taken in the past?" He asked the question, the question she didn't want him to ask, the question that brought up bad memories and pain and loneliness and disaster. But then again, if he was going to ask on any day, the day of her monthly conversation with Aunt Bora probably would have been his best bet. On any other day, she would have ignored it and changed the subject or lied. But today was different. It was always different after she called.

"Well… when I told my Aunt I got accepted to Starfleet, she wasn't too happy about it. She kicked me out of her condo." Uhura smirked, remembering the furious look on her Aunt's face on that fatal day. "I made it here on my own… but like I said before, Starfleet isn't for me. And I was too stubborn to go back and admit defeat, so I stayed here for a while. Then I ran out of money and I was underage so I couldn't get a real job and I was homeless… so I did what I had to do to get by. It took years to get accustomed to my new lifestyle… but I survived… and here I am."

Spock was silent for a while. He literally didn't know what to say. He was expecting something different, something less distressing. And she kept saying that Starfleet wasn't for her, but if she made it in, then perhaps it was for her. He could sense the disdain she had for her Aunt… and with good reason. But where were her parents? How did they fit into this equation?

"You could have been anything. Why a dancer?" Spock questioned quietly, hoping his voice wasn't voicing the concern he felt. He wasn't concerned, no… just curious. It didn't make any sense… actually nothing he did today made any sense.

"Because _those_ managers don't ask how old you are." Uhura responded, one of those cryptic grins on her face again. _It's been a long time since I've talked about that. I'm surprised I haven't burst into tears._ The dark-haired teen thought sarcastically. Then again… she had omitted parts, watered her situation down. The whole truth was too much to handle… and too problematic to bring up with someone she barely knew.

"Does your Aunt know you haven't joined Starfleet?" The real question was… why Spock was asking so many questions.

"Yeah she knows… she sends me a monthly check. It's basically enough to pay my rent." Uhura shrugged, pausing to slurp up the last remnants of her milkshake. "As long as I'm not heading for the stars, she doesn't care what I do and she doesn't ask."

"That is despicable behavior. As an adult, she should be more responsible and reasonable." Spock frowned, his eyes looking somewhat contemplative. To think that someone would throw their own blood out onto the street was appalling. He didn't even _want_ to know how old she was when it happened.

"Yeah…" Uhura let out a tiny sigh. "It sucks… but I only have to think about her once a month. And the money's good. My apartment is pretty damn nice." She couldn't help but let out a tiny grin. "Her kicking me out gave me the freedom I craved. Till this day, she still thinks she won, in reality… she lost."

"That's a rather positive way of looking at it." Spock couldn't help it. She impressed him _again_. Her resilience and strength was astounding. While his Father certainly hadn't been pleased with his decision to attend Starfleet, they had parted on relatively civil terms. And he was certainly old enough to fend for himself. He had adjusted to life with humans, immersed himself into their culture, and made many accommodations. Most of his endeavors had turned out successfully. In human's terms… he had been _lucky_. It wasn't the same for her. And yet, and yet she seemed fine.

"Yeah… well this has just about been the longest lunch of my life." Uhura stood up abruptly, reaching for her purse. "I have a couple errands to run before work that I wanted to get done." _I probably won't get them done but whatever…_

"I see. Ms. Uhura, there is no need to take out your wallet. I will be paying." The Vulcan said simply.

"Umm… ok. Well thanks, Commander Spock." Uhura felt her face growing warm. It was practically a date. A date and a therapy session somewhere in between… well it was the only way she could explain how she was feeling. Despite talking about things that she had pushed aside for years, she felt good. But it felt wrong to call him Commander; she felt as if they had crossed some line. No… it wasn't a date… was it?

"There is no need to refer to me as: 'Commander', as our relationship is not based on professional or educational matters." Clearly, Spock thought the same thing. "Spock will do."

This brought a smile to Uhura's face. "Two can play that game. Call me Nyota." She braced herself, mentally rehearsing the words in her head. "Thanks again for lunch. I had a great time."

"As did I." Spock remained seated. He would order some tea; it usually had a calming effect on him. And he definitely needed to soothe his mind. Uhura turned around and walked away. This time… it was he who watched her until he could not anymore.

* * *

"You did WHAT?!?" Gaila screeched out, her jaw dropping to the floor. She and Uhura were currently lying on the latter's bed, painting their toenails. But the redhead was so shocked by Uhura's confession that she almost dropped the nail polish on the floor.

"Yeah, I know, I know. It surprised me, too." Uhura winced at her friend's response and inwardly sighed.

"Did you tell him about your parents?" Gaila demanded. She wanted to know more. To think that they had lunch together… and actually talked for over an hour! It was unthinkable! Uhura wasn't the type to do such a thing… and neither was Commander Spock.

"No." Uhura snapped out, somewhat annoyed that she would even bring _that_ topic up.

"About Ka-" _I probably shouldn't have said that…_ Gaila thought. _Too late._

"_No_." Uhura's voice became menacing and Gaila instantly moved on.

"What about-" The Orion girl started, putting a finger on her chin.

"Gaila! I only told him about my stupid Aunt! That's it!" Uhura shouted out, losing her patience. _Honestly, she had to bring up just about every shitty aspect of my life._

"Yeah, well that's a lot to tell someone you only met once. It took you, what an entire year freaking year to tell _me_ what you told _him_ in less than a month. Less than a month! Is nothing sacred anymore?" Gaila snorted, finishing off her big toe.

"I know, I know… I don't know why I did it. We were just talking and the conversation was flowing and before I knew it we were talking about personal things and I slipped, I slipped dammit!" Uhura slammed her nail polish down onto her dresser and plopped onto her back, groaning loudly. "Gaila… this is bad. This is really bad. I don't know why he's so different. I've talked to… hundreds of men, seen hundreds of men… and none of them, not ONE has ever gotten through to me like he has. It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does… it's called love at first sight." Gaila smirked.

"What?" It was Uhura's turn to look completely shocked.

"Well, think about it. If you _had_ joined Starfleet, you probably would have met him, had a couple of his classes, and gotten to know him over time. Since you didn't, fate had to intervene and basically force the two of you to meet under extraordinary circumstances. And now… you're fucked. Because instead of gradually falling for him and having feelings blossom over time… you've fallen head over heels in love with him upon meeting him once." Gaila finished, looking quite pleased with her narrative.

"That made no sense at all." Uhura grimaced. "This isn't some trashy romance novel; this is my life we're talking about!"

"Let's see you coming up with a logical explanation. Go ahead, Nyota." The redhead even cupped her ear for emphasis, leaning towards her companion. "Got any bright ideas?" Uhura smacked her arm in response. "Yeah, I thought so."

"Ok, ok, fine. Let's say for hypothetical purposes that you're right." Uhura rolled her eyes. "What do I do now, Oh-Great-One?"

"Hmm… well I'd say you should go out on more dates. Try to have fun with him, loosen him up. Let him get to know you and get comfortable with you." The Orion girl suggested thoughtfully.

"More dates? It wasn't a date!" Uhura scowled, pouting a bit.

"You shared a meal in a public place, you talked for over an hour, you shared intimate details about your life with him (as he did with you), and he PAID for your meal. It was a date. Get over it." Gaila narrowed her eyes.

"You are the most-" Uhura grit her teeth impatiently.

"I'm just as stubborn as you are and that's probably why we're best friends." Gaila interrupted, flashing one of those infectious grins of hers. "Luckily, I don't need my friends to tell me when I've been on dates. I just _know_." This brought a grin to Uhura's face… and soon the both of them were chuckling loudly. Then, the two of them laid on the bed, caught up in their own thoughts.

"Finals start this week." Gaila let out a long sigh. "I'm not looking forward to them… in case you couldn't guess."

"Yeah… final exams equal disgruntled cadets which equals rough sex." The teen rolled over onto her stomach, combing her fingers through her dark hair.

"Oh please… don't act like you don't like it rough." The redhead rolled her eyes lightheartedly. Uhura threw a pillow at her, which she instantly dodged. "And besides, you're a _Princess_ now. You get to pick who you sleep with."

"Yeah but I still have a damn quota to fulfill every night." Uhura laughed out loud. "Ho… the hierarchy of Hyacinth." Club Hyacinth was where she worked, it was where Gaila worked… and it was where men and women came every night when they wanted a show… and sometimes more.

"You and your damn alliteration… think you're so cool." Gaila shook her head.

"That's because I am." Uhura smirked, kicking her feet in the air.

"Yeah, yeah… so how's the fabulous Aunt Bora doing? Still got that stick up her ass?" The green-skinned female checked the time. They would have to eat soon if they were going to get to work on time.

"Mmmhmm. I think someone purposely twists it around right before she has to call me." Uhura retorted sarcastically. The two of them looked at each other… and nearly burst into tears laughing. Finally, when they recovered their senses, Uhura declared: "Let's order some expensive food with the money she sent me!" When Gaila's eyebrows rose in response, the girl could only shrug and say: "I'm feeling a little... _rebellious_ today."

* * *

**All done! Thanks so much for reading!!! Please review and let me know your thoughts! :) And of course, if I made any mistakes, tell me. Chapter 2 should be up soon!**

**Khi-gad-yem = lunch (Vulcan)**

**Merde = shit (French)**


	3. Chapter 2: Indulgence

**Hi! I have to apologize for taking so long to update. I went on vacation, came back and then I was working on my other story for a while. I had a couple pages of this done, but it was nowhere finished. A lot of stuff is going on with me right now. I'm also unemployed... there was a bit of unethical activity going on and I basically got set up to be fired, so I beat them to the punch and quit. I finally started working on this last week and just finished it tonight. So, here it is! I hope you like it! :)**

**I would like to thank: carsonsgirl, RachelKarenGeller, ToughSpirit, shelubbsu, Quicksilvermad, OritPetra, grumpirah, mhgood, xkiisstheraiin, krishnochura, Amaranth01, siggyhahn, and vanessaquebec for reviewing. Also if you added my story to your favorites or your alert list, thank you! **

**To EmilyWoods, I really appreciate the message you sent me. It means a lot and your words definitely reached me, in more ways than one. I tried to reply to it lol but you don't allow PMs. **

* * *

_**CHAPTER TWO:**_

_**Indulgence**_

_Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west  
A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness  
The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest  
Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex  
_

_We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat  
The state where ya never find a dance floor empty  
And pimps be on a mission for them greens  
Lean mean money-makin-machines servin fiends_

California Love --- Tupac & Dr. Dre

* * *

The neon lights used to make her eyes tear up. Now, they were oddly comforting to her, in the darkness of Club Hyacinth. Uhura sat at the bar with a drink in her hand, courtesy of Gaila. The Orion girl was elsewhere, taking people's orders and going to the bartender to get the drinks made. It was the middle of May, exams were over, the weather was beautiful, and everyone was free and happy. Hence, Club H was packed.

The music was always good. It was loud enough that a girl could pretend she couldn't hear what some guy was saying… but quiet enough so that after leaving, she wouldn't feel slightly deaf. Or hear ringing in her ears for hours. The DJ usually played a perfect mix of new hits, old favorites, and unknown beats that weren't as popular, but just as good, if not even _better_.

Sometimes Club H sported fog on the floor and other times… bubbles in the air. Some nights there were dancing and/or drinking contests. Holidays meant costumes and rowdy festivities, which oddly enough, weren't all that bad. She didn't mind dressing up as a sexy elf… especially because she got to put on fake, sharp ears. Call her immature or illogical, but there was something inherently magical about the game of dress-up. Perhaps it was because for a short while, she was able to pretend to be something she wasn't. And for a few fleeting moments… she _was_ an elf, relishing in the idea of soft snow and hot chocolate and ubiquitous splashes of green and red.

"Uhura!" A familiar voice shouted into Uhura's ear, breaking her mental concentration. She turned around to face a girl no older than sixteen, with pale skin, wispy black hair, and startling, green eyes. While the men she serviced new her by the name "Princess Trixie", all the girls (herself included) had christened her "Sweet Pea".

Sweet Pea was one of their newest girls and pretty much… everyone's little sister. She had runaway from home after being neglected by her workaholic mother and sexually abused by her stepfather for years. She was practically addicted to alcohol and nicotine, but she had the face of an angel and something about her just seemed ethereal; like she was a fallen angel and a lost kitten, all wrapped into one. Sweet Pea often put up a childish, optimistic façade to compensate for her dark past and everyone enabled it. She was currently living with one of the older women in a house nearby.

"How you doing, Sweet Pea?" Uhura allowed a real smile to grace her features.

"I'm good, but I'm kind of stressed." Sweet Pea sat down next to Uhura and ordered a strong, somewhat fruity drink. "I have this dumb test coming up and my teacher is such a bitch and if I fail, I'm going to have to repeat the class."

"What class is it?" Uhura cocked her head to one side.

"French." Sweet Pea grimaced and squirmed around in her seat, pulling down her short skirt. Her drink arrived and she immediately took a healthy swig.

"I suppose Lady Luck has smiled upon you. I happen to be fluent in the language." Uhura lightly punched Sweet Pea in the shoulder. The girl's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Are you seriously going to help me???" Sweet Pea asked incredulously. That was the thing about Sweet Pea. She never really believed good things could happen to her. "That would mean so much to me! I wish I had come to you sooner, but I-"

"It's okay, don't worry. I'm going to help you and you're going to pass. It's as simple as that." Uhura smirked, taking a sip from her cup.

"Oh, you're the best!" Sweet Pea leapt forward and hugged Uhura. The older teen chuckled and rubbed the girl's back. Sweet Pea broke away and downed the rest of her drink, slamming the glass onto the counter. "I gotta go; I'm pretty sure that's my regular over there. He's a doctor."

"Take care, Sweet Pea." Uhura smiled gently at the younger girl. Nodding once, Sweet Pea darted towards a blonde man wearing glasses who had to be twice her age.

Sighing to herself, Uhura resumed surveying the club, looking from guy to guy. The crowd was diverse; it usually was, especially during the summer months. But there were always those stereotypes that tended to stick out, those archetypal males that she was able to pick out through years of experience. She _knew_ people and just as she was an expert in verbal language, she understood nonverbal language very well, too.

Her eyes strayed to each male, taking in their appearances and their body language. There was the cocky teenager with the overactive sex drive, the insecure boy who had never set foot in a club but wanted to get laid so his friends wouldn't make fun of him, the disgruntled husband with the bossy wife, the rebellious player in his thirties who didn't plan on settling down, the gray-haired man who yearned to see if he still had "it", the asshole who didn't appreciate his family, the foreigner on a business trip who wanted to "explore" his new surroundings, etc. The list could go on forever.

"Hey there, beautiful." A smooth voice came from behind her.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Uhura slowly turned about, a fake half-smile forming on her face. And here was yet _another_ one of her stereotypes: the arrogant nymphomaniac, the kind of man who loved sex, thought about it a million times a day, and thought he was so irresistible that any woman would cut off her own arm at the chance of sleeping with him. Men like him made her sick… but they also helped her pay for her groceries, so she couldn't complain too much. Even if he thought he was God's gift to women.

"Hi." Uhura took in the male's façade. He was clean shaven, wore an expensive-looking suit, had polished, black shoes, and a shining, silver watch was on his left wrist. Adorned with a conceited, lazy grin, seemingly innocent blue eyes, and dark, tousled brown hair that any woman would want to run her fingers through… this man was certainly attractive, she would give him that.

"What's your name?" The man inquired, showing more of his teeth.

"Roxanna. _Princess_… Roxanna." Uhura told the male. Unlike other strip clubs, Club Hyacinth functioned with a hierarchy. Newly employed girls were given hardly any privileges or freedoms at all; they were given names like Passion-Fruit and Velvet-Brook and Angel-Fire and Sugar-Sizzle. However, if a newcomer achieved enough recognition by her customers, she was promoted a Duchess. A Duchess was allowed a small number of sick days, but had to fulfill a quota every night she worked. She was also allowed to purchase certain drinks at the bar for free.

Becoming a Princess was harder, only the girls who almost _always_ fulfilled their quotas and had near perfect attendance could achieve this status. Being a Princess had its perks. Firstly, a Princess could change her name to whatever she wished. Secondly, a Princess was allowed a larger number of sick days and could order more free drinks than a Duchess could. Thirdly, a Princess was allowed to reject a potential customer she didn't like a.k.a. she got to pick who she slept with. However, Princesses had a more specific quota to fulfill.

Uhura was rather satisfied with her rank. It gave her enough freedom to be comfortable in her profession. After two successful years as a Princess, Uhura knew that her boss, Coyote, wanted her to be a Queen, but to be honest, she didn't want the upgrade. She didn't know what being a Queen entailed, nor did she aspire to. After Queen, one could become an Empress. In Club H, there were about sixteen Duchesses, fourteen Princesses, ten Queens, and four Empresses.

"Oh… well, your Highness, if I may be so bold, would you like to accompany me back to my quarters?" The brunette even winked at her. Uhura inwardly shuddered. He _would_ be into role play. He was probably much too domineering in bed and relished at the thought of bedding a damsel in distress. And the fact that she was a Princess most likely furthered his lust.

_You've got to be kidding me._ "I'm afraid I must decline your generous offer." Uhura almost snorted as she took a sip from her drink. "Perhaps one of my sisters would prefer to be in your presence." She gestured to one of the new girls dancing on the stage, all the while thinking: _I've just bruised his sensitive ego. What a shame… _

"Really now? Have you got some prior engagement?" The man narrowed his blue eyes, which suddenly… didn't seem so innocent anymore. "It's not as if you've got something else to do."

"Actually, I do." Uhura stiffened as the man took a step closer to her. "I'd appreciate if you-" The man reached out towards her and then a shout was heard:

"Hey! What's going on here???" A tall man with flaming red hair and bronzed skin stomped over. He was wearing a shining, golden suit with a white undershirt. A tilted white hat was on his head and a black feather stuck out of it.

"He was _just_ leaving." Uhura whacked the brunette's arm away. She was partially relieved that Coyote showed up when he did. Most nights he was up on the second floor, casually studying the cameras and eating Chinese food. But some nights he would walk about his club, observe his employees, and keep the place in order.

"You let your whores act like this?" The man snarled angrily at Coyote.

"Actually, she's a Princess. You've been around long enough to know what that means, Matthew. And you know the rules. Get the fuck outta here." Coyote narrowed his forest green eyes at the nymphomaniac, or Matthew. Growling and cursing under his breath, Matthew stomped off, kicking a barstool on his way out. Some turned and stared at him, but most people ignored the noise or didn't hear it at all.

"Thanks, Coyote." Uhura smiled, a real smile and quickly downed her drink. Angry customers were known to fight the security guards, hit the girls… but no one ever challenged Coyote. He had a commanding air about him; he was clearly born to run a business and run it successfully. Even though it was illegal.

"Take the night off." Coyote ordered, crossing his arms over his chest. Uhura's mouth dropped open in response. "Don't give me that. I've been watching all my Princesses tonight. And _you_ are distracted. I've seen it happen before, many times. You get that call from your ex-boyfriend, the parent that disowned you showed up on your stoop, your best friend hates you… I don't really care what happened; you don't need to tell me. But I won't have you wasting your time and mine.

"Your attendance and performance is excellent enough that if you miss a night or two, it really won't impact your status or the business. Now take the night off, think about whatever it is you've been thinking about here, and come back tomorrow with your head on straight. You got me?" Coyote fixed her with his "boss stare", the unyielding stare that wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Okay… fine." Uhura frowned, relenting to her boss' request. It wasn't as if she had a choice in the matter. He was making it seem like she had some kind of personal crisis. But she didn't have one. What the hell was he talking about? She wanted to know what he meant. "What gave it away?"

"It's almost midnight and you've rejected every man that's come within ten feet of you." Coyote snorted, whirled around, and sauntered off. Uhura's mouth dropped open again. Was it really that late? She watched her boss wander around his club, casually speaking to the other girls who weren't currently occupied. Maybe he was right. The dark-haired girl left her empty glass at the bar and walked away.

* * *

The moon shone brightly, illuminating the path Uhura was walking on. She could see Golden Gate Park across the street. It was huge. There was always something going on there. But tonight… she didn't want to be a part of anything. She just wanted to be alone, to think. More specifically, to think about what Coyote had said.

Uhura wasn't an idiot. She knew why she was "distracted". It was Spock. He was there; buried in her unconsciousness, causing her to reject everyone that wasn't him. And obviously… there was only _one_ Spock. But to think… that she didn't even realize it. She had been dismissing men left and right and didn't even stop to think and wonder why. None of them had been good enough for her tonight, which was a preposterous thing to imagine, because she wasn't allowed to be _THAT_ selective. She had to push aside whatever she felt for the Vulcan… or she would eventually lose her job.

_Would that be such a bad thing?_ The forbidden thought entered her skull. Uhura stopped walking in surprise, her mouth going dry. Her hands slowly formed fists and she stomped along, her pensive mood turning into an angry one. _And what would you do then, Uhura? _The girl asked herself furiously. _Would you join Starfleet and go against your Father's wishes?_

Uhura stopped walking and hung her head. Even in death, his word was law. Starfleet was forbidden territory. That was that. Feeling slightly melancholy, the girl turned around and began trudging back towards her apartment. While she had been slightly alarmed about her thoughts on Spock, thinking of her past had sucked every ounce of happiness out of her body.

"Guess I should pick up some ice cream on the way home." Uhura declared to the street lamp, as she walked by, a sad smile on her face. _I'm an idiot sometimes…_

* * *

"You want what?!?" Gaila shouted disbelievingly into the phone. The following morning, Uhura had called her best friend and asked where Spock lived.

"I need to know where I can find Spock. I… I need to talk to him." Uhura struggled with her words, something she didn't do often. She inwardly cursed.

"Umm… okay. And what are you going to say? Gee, Professor, I'm sorry for being a stalker and turning up here uninvited, but would you please talk to me about…" Gaila trailed off, her tone half-sarcastic, half-annoyed, mostly worried. She didn't want her friend to get hurt by the Commander. "It's one thing to meet randomly, but this… this is deliberate. I mean, he's a Vulcan! What do you expect to come of this?"

"I don't know… I don't know. I do know that I haven't seen him for over a week and it's been driving me mad. Coyote made me go home early last night." Uhura confessed, raking her fingernails over her forehead. She was agitated now. While she had been somewhat confident with her plan, Gaila's words had elicited insecurity from her. The Orion girl was right. What the hell was she thinking?

"What? Why? Yeah, I was wondering where you went." Gaila paused, waiting for Uhura to explain herself.

"I didn't even realize it… but _he_ did. Gaila, I rejected every guy that approached me last night. Every one… and for the first time in a LONG time, I didn't fulfill my quota, I left my job early… and it's because of him." Uhura hesitated, not sure if she wanted to admit this out loud. It would make her revelation all the more real. "He's here, inside me, in my thoughts, in my actions… and I don't know what to do about it. I could barely sleep last night. I need to do something or I'm not going to be able to go to work tonight. I just know it. So please, please help me."

"I… okay fine… I just hope I'm not going to regret this." Gaila groaned into the phone as Uhura shouted her thanks repeatedly. "Yeah, yeah… but if he hurts you in ANY way, I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Well then… I plead the fifth." Uhura giggled slightly, feeling relieved. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I do… that's the only reason why I'm doing this. You're incredibly lucky to have me as a friend." Gaila declared jokingly. But as she spoke again, her tone became more serious. "And I want you to be happy. And if breaking into his quarters, stripping him naked and bringing him to your apartment does so, then by all means-"

"GAILA!!!" Uhura shrieked loudly, her cheeks growing warm. "I'm not sure whether to thank you or to hang up the phone."

"How about pledging some years of servitude?" Gaila snorted sardonically, which caused both of them to start chuckling.

"Psh… maybe next time; I'm already serving someone and his name is Co-" Uhura began cynically.

"SPOCK." Gaila burst in cheerfully. "Sorry love; couldn't resist."

"You are insufferable sometimes, do you know that?" Still, Uhura couldn't help but grin at Gaila's attitude. She knew she was going to have to endure a whole lot of teasing. But it was worth it… because at least she would get to see him. She already knew what she wanted to say. She had practiced it.

"Do you want that address or not?"

"If I pledge thirty years of servitude to you, what are my chances of getting it?"

"Hmm… I suppose we can make an exception for you."

"Why, I'd be most grateful. Thank you."

"No problem, sweets. Anything for you."

* * *

Uhura stood before the numbers "2210", which seemed quite ominous to her. No doubt there was some kind of haunted house out there with that same number. It just didn't seem like a safe number, a reliable number. She didn't like it, not at all. Okay, she was exaggerating and she was nervous. But she was here. She couldn't just stand there and stare at the door. Someone might walk by and notice her.

Taking a deep breath, Uhura knocked on the door. _Maybe he won't even be here. He's probably out doing commander things. Or maybe he's visiting a friend elsewhere._ Yes of course, why would he be inside? It didn't make any-

To Uhura's horror and delight, the door opened, revealing the half-Vulcan of her dreams. His eyes widened slightly upon seeing her standing there. "Hello, Ms. Uhura. I must admit, I was not expecting any company today." Spock said smoothly, his eyes flickering to the hallway, checking to see if anyone else was around. Uhura froze as her eyes locked onto Spock's and she forgot was she was going to say. So much for all that practicing...

_Yeah, I have a feeling that "not expecting company" is code for "What the fuck are you doing here?"_ Uhura inwardly groaned. But she had to do it. She opened her mouth and the words just started spilling out. The words that she _didn't_ say in front of her mirror hours before, words that didn't make any kind of sense at all. It was ridiculous. She was… she was babbling?!?

"I'm sorry for showing up here out of the blue. But to put it frankly… you've been on my mind. I haven't been able to concentrate on work. I know I shouldn't be so blunt and informal about it and I can promise you I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable or anything. But I, I don't know how else to say this. I don't know why you made such an impression on me and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it." Uhura paused for a moment, hoping that Spock would say something, _anything_ to alleviate her nerves. He said no such thing and her unease turned into embarrassment.

"Well… I've said all that I _haven't_ planned to say while standing at your door. So you can either slam it in my face or-"

"There is no reason to issue ultimatums, Ms. Uhura." Spock finally spoke, stepping aside. "You may enter." His eyes were unreadable, his posture as stiff as ever… but Uhura would have to trust in his words. After all, if he didn't want her to come in, he would have told her so. Despite his formal, detached body language, she had been allowed in. This was a good thing.

"Thanks." Uhura cracked a grin as she strode into his apartment, saying over her shoulder: "And it's _Nyota_." Once again, Spock didn't reply, but shut the door behind them. He led her into his living room, which was quaintly decorated with two full bookshelves, a green couch, a tiny, wooden shelf with a lush, green plant on it, three chairs, and a marble table placed right in the center of the room. It was a simple room and yet she loved it. The walls lacked paint and windows, but there was a picture of a Vulcan desert that was up on the wall, facing the green couch.

To the left of the living room was a tiny kitchen, where Spock entered instantly. Uhura took a seat on the couch and simply listened. She heard some clunking and clanking and finally, the pouring of water. Upon studying the rest of the room, Uhura noticed that the wall near one of the bookcases connected to a little hallway. The corridor had three adequately spaced doors along it. One of those had to be his bedroom.

Uhura jumped as Spock set a silver tray down onto the marble table. Two steaming teacups had been placed on it, along with a jar of sugar, two spoons, some honey, and some milk. Spock sat down in one of his beige chairs, took a cup off the tray, and began sipping it… all without saying a word. The dark-haired teen started to prepare her cup in response. She liked sugar, but not milk. And she never usually put honey in her tea, but she figured she may as well try it.

_I've just been doing all kinds of unexpected things today… what's one more thing? _Uhura thought to herself as she gently squeezed some honey out. After stirring her tea, she took a tentative sip and smiled. "It's good."

"I am pleased that it is to your liking. I find it much more soothing than caffeine." Spock replied, resting his teacup on the tray.

Uhura laughed. "Yeah… coffee is kinda bad for you. But I can't help it… I _love_ caramel lattes. I should probably cut back, though." She took another sip.

"Ms. Uh-" Spock began finally, a note of firmness in his voice.

"Nyota." She corrected him again. Why she wanted him to call her by her first name, she didn't know. Maybe it was caramel latte withdrawal.

"Nyota." Spock repeated, acquiescing. For now, anyway. "As I said before, I was not expecting visitors… of any kind. But now that the opportunity has presented itself, I will say what I need to say. Firstly, in response to your soliloquy, you have certainly made an impression on me, through your intellect and your charm. I must confess that you are quite an intriguing individual.

"Your ability to speak Vulcan with such prowess and confidence is rare, especially since you lack formal education in the language. It would be acceptable for us to become associated with each other, on the grounds of intellect, of course." Spock paused, picking his teacup up from the silver dish. Uhura felt herself grinning wildly.

"I'm glad you think so." Uhura could barely contain her joy. He must've seen it on her face. But she had to at least try and remain calm. Of all the shitty ideas her brain had ever cooked up, she never thought that _this_ one would actually work! Uhura gulped down some tea, using the cup to hide her mouth. She couldn't stop smiling.

"I would like to bring one more thing to your attention. I believe that honesty is a vital part of any kind of relationship." The half-Vulcan looked straight at Uhura and she could feel dread swimming up from her toes to fingertips. "I find it hard to believe that you are simply a dancer. How a dancer in a social establishment such as a 'club' can sustain herself in this day and age is beyond my capacity to understand the inner workings of human culture."

"I'm a hooker." Uhura stated evenly, her eyes not leaving Spock's. "It pays a hell of a lot more than dancing, I can tell you that much."

"Prostitution is illegal." Spock replied, just as calmly. As if they were discussing the weather.

"Not if some of the men being serviced are cops. To them… it's a necessary evil. Actually, they probably don't think it's evil at all." Uhura shrugged. "You'd be surprised at how many lawyers and judges we get."

Corruption was just as ubiquitous as integrity, but Spock couldn't help but feel somewhat disgusted by her words. To think that such a practice would be allowed, overlooked even, by the city's law enforcement… it was disgraceful. Uhura took in the tightness of his face, the rigidity of his body, the way his hands were almost clenched… and what's more, he wouldn't look at her. So this was it.

"I'm sorry I lied to you." Uhura smiled sadly. "I just didn't want _this_ to happen. I didn't want to be judged for what I do instead of who I am. What I do and the decisions I make help to define me, but they don't finish the job. There's more to me than just… just…" She couldn't finish her words and she felt the sting of oncoming tears.

"I was not judging you; I was merely contemplating the difference between your society and mine. Such a thing would not occur on Vulcan. I _know_ there is more to you and that is exactly why, despite your profession, I still wish to become acquainted." Spock disclosed and Uhura's eyes widened in surprise.

"Thanks… that means a lot to me." Uhura took a deep breath and stole a look at her cup of tea. It was empty. She could have used some more. She felt relieved and stressed at the same time… but mostly relieved. Her greatest fear had been turned away. He wouldn't rebuff her because of her work. He was giving her a chance. A chance at what, she wasn't sure. But it was enough to give her a little confidence. And hope.

"Now, if you would kindly excuse me, I have some research to attend to." Spock said, slowly standing up. Of course he did… wait… who did research in the summer? Then again, he was a Vulcan. She needed to rectify this situation and fast. Because if they would be spending any time together, it was _not_ going to be anywhere near a microscope.

"One more thing… how can I reach you?" Uhura began, stealing a look at Spock's face for consent. She got mild curiosity instead and knew she would have to further explain her words. "Okay, well if we're going to become 'more associated' with one another, we need to _see_ each other. I don't care if we go to movies or a play or a museum or the beach or a park or get coffee, but I don't want to keep relying on chance to bring us together. And I don't want to keep showing up here awkwardly, all unannounced and uninvited. Moderation is good and I think it'll be okay if we start… associating in a normal fashion. How does once a week sound?"

"Once a week?" Spock repeated, raising an eyebrow. And with that simple question, her resolve vanished… and the insecure, illogical gibberish arrived.

"Well, to be honest, I'd be okay with seeing you everyday. But for the sake of discretion or moderation or… well, it probably wouldn't be a good idea because maybe we'd get sick of each other, but I really can't see myself doing that…" Uhura trailed off, realizing that she was babbling _again_. And her brain filter had been turned off _again_. Why did this keep happening? How could she be completely composed at work and yet… completely undone by Spock? One look at Spock sent her sanity and logic flying out the window.

"Two days a week will suffice, I believe." Spock cut in easily, the corners of his lips upturned. Clearly she didn't have the same on him. Well… not that she could tell… yet. She liked thinking of "yet", because it implied the future. And they _had_ a future together, no matter how limited or small or uncertain it was. She could live with two days. Maybe it would eventually grow… into what, she didn't know.

But Uhura was looking forward to change, for the first time in a long time. She wanted to get to know him, to peel back his layers and she wanted _him_ to know her. She wanted a lot of things and she wasn't used to it, wasn't used to anticipating tomorrow. It had been a while since she had indulged herself like this. She didn't look for friendships or let people in and she certainly didn't walk around saying: "I'm a hooker." She didn't babble nearly as often as she did today. She was usually confident in her words.

She had the insane urge to kick a wall, she felt so frustrated and conflicted and happy. A multitude of emotions was surging through her, but he wanted her around. Despite the fact that she was a slut, a whore, a tramp, or whatever epithet society had branded her kind with, Spock wanted her around. Well, maybe not want, more like chose. He _chose_ to have her around. And that was certainly enough for now.

* * *

**And that's it for now. Please, let me know what you thought of it! And please tell me if I've made a mistake of some kind. I'm not sure when I'm going to start Chapter 3. I think because I took so long to update this story, I'm going to work on Chapter 3 and finish it before I go back to my other fic. That sounds fair enough, right? **


	4. Chapter 3: Xenophilia

**Hi everyone. I know, I know, it's been like 3 weeks since I last updated. The first week of August I had my younger cousin with me. The second week I was down in Wildwood with my friends. And this week I did a whole bunch of running around and I was barely at home. This past weekend was the first chance I actually had to write. *sigh* I'm exhausted lol. But this chapter is finally done. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure about this one. I'm not sure if it's good enough. And I apologize; there isn't much Spock/Uhura interaction. Regardless lol, I hope you enjoy it! If you found any mistakes, please let me know!! **

**I would like to thank all my reviewers!!! You guys are the best and so encouraging: Vanessequebec, Babita,**** firstfic, Ladyhawke****, ToughSpirit, sadhappygirl, g, krishnochura, carsonsgirl, whitneyc, TheDreamerLady, Nocturnal Rose, and johnnymommy19. Also, if you added my story to your alerts or favorites, thanks a bunch!! :)**

* * *

_**CHAPTER THREE:**_

_**XENOPHILIA**_

_Stranded in the spooky town  
Stop lights are swaying and the phone lines are down  
The floor is crackling cold  
She took my heart, [I think] she took my soul  
With the moon I run, far from the carnage of the fiery sun_

_Driven by the strangle of veins  
Showing me no mercy, I'd do it again  
Open up your eyes, you keep on crying baby I'll bleed you dry_

Closer ~~~ Kings of Leon

* * *

"Okay… let's review your colors one more time." Uhura said sternly. She and Sweet Pea were sitting in a tiny, cute kitchen. "Yellow, masculine, singular." _This is going to be harder than I thought…_ She had been tutoring Sweet Pea in French for a while now. It was the beginning of June and her final exams were approaching, looming like an oncoming storm. Sweet Pea had gotten a C+ on her last French test, which was an improvement, according to her. The sixteen-year-old needed a B+ or higher on her final exam to bring up her failing grade. Things were looking sort of grim.

And so, today, the two of them were studying in her house. Well it wasn't her house; it belonged to Danicia a.k.a. Queen Jezebel (who was out shopping for the afternoon). Danicia had offered Sweet Pea a place to stay when she had first started working. She basically let all the girls crash there. Her home was a quaint and it had three bedrooms. It also helped that it wasn't too far from Club Hyacinth. Uhura had been inside the house many times. Some nights, if she was too tired or drunk to make it back to her apartment, she would crash at Danicia's.

Uhura had been drilling Sweet Pea for over an hour. The younger girl was horrible at French. Her pronunciation was appalling and she struggled to remember the simplest rules. And her conjugation made Uhura want to scream. Sweet Pea could memorize phrases easily, but could barely construct any of her own. So while everyone else was outside enjoying the beautiful weather and shouting TGIF to the many skyscrapers that were littered around the city, the two of them were stuck inside, going over French vocabulary. Needless to say, both of them were a bit edgy. They were currently going over colors. To Uhura's relief, Sweet Pea was a lot better at remembering those.

"Er… er… jaune?" Sweet Pea gulped, hoping that her memory was correct.

"Good. White, feminine, plural."

"Umm… er… I'm not exactly sure… is it blan… blanches?"

"Yes, good. Green, masculine, plural."

"Oh, ooh, I know this! Green's my favorite color. Verts!"

"Lovely. Gray, feminine, singular."

"Gris… no, no that's not it… grise! Grise!"

"Great job. Is it safe to move onto food? I'll give you the word in French and you tell me what it means. We'll start with fruit. Are you ready?"

"Yea, I think."

"Answer me in French, Sweet Pea."

"Oh… yea sorry… umm… _oui, je crois_."

"Une fraise?"

"Strawberry."

"Une poire?"

"Pear."

"Une pastèque?"

"I don't know…"

"Excusez moi?"

"Uh… je ne sais pas."

"Watermelon. It means watermelon."

"Than… Merci beacoup."

"Une myrtille?"

"Uh… uh… je ne sais pa… can we um… oh, **JE N'EN PEUX PLUS!**"

Uhura raised her eyebrows at Sweet Pea's exclamation. Well, they had been studying for a while. "For once, your pronunciation was perfect. Let's take a break, shall we?" She chuckled as Sweet Pea let out a groan of relief and stood up. The smaller girl walked away from the table they were sitting at.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Sweet Pea asked as she opened the fridge and took out a soda. "We have lemonade, fruit punch, all kinds of soda, water, iced tea…"

"I'll have some iced tea." Uhura grinned as she watched Sweet Pea bustled around the kitchen. "You're really at home here, aren't you?" She heard the stairs creaking from down the hall and frowned slightly. She thought Danicia was out. Who else was here?

"Yeah, well… it _is_ my home. It's the first real home I've had since... I feel safe here." Sweet Pea plopped back down in her chair. She passed Uhura a cold glass of iced tea.

Sweet Pea began gulping down her soda. Uhura gratefully took a sip. "So… are there any boys at school you like? Have a crush on someone?" The dark-skinned teen nearly burst out laughing as Sweet Pea turned red and avoided eye contact.

"Um, well, actually there's this-" Sweet Pea halted as a woman's angry heels sounded in her ears. She turned her head to look for the source.

"Men are fools. They're disgusting pigs. They can't resist temptation. No matter how nice or thoughtful a man seems, there's only _one_ thing on his mind. Don't trust any of them." A brunette with cold gray eyes was standing in the hallway of the house, a few feet away from the front door. From this part of the hall, one could look directly into the kitchen and vice versa.

Uhura inwardly groaned. _I seriously don't need this shit today..._ The woman was Natalia a.k.a. Queen Sasha. She was as cold as she was cruel. She lived and breathed pessimism, clung to it as a child clings to a blanket. Natalia completely detached herself from everyone, even her three young kids. Some of the newer girls even called her "The Android" behind her back.

_Why was she eavesdropping?_ Uhura thought crossly. She wasn't in the mood for one of Natalia's ridiculous rants. "That's a big of a stretch, isn't it? Not all men are-"

"If all men weren't sexual fiends, then you wouldn't be standing here right now." Natalia narrowed her steel, bluish gray eyes. "No man can resist the sexual charms of a woman. Your father is no different."

"Excuse me?" Uhura's eyes flashed dangerously and Sweet Pea's eyebrows rose in surprise. The female stood up rapidly, her chair knocked back a few inches. "Do not presume to know _anything_ about my father, you cynical bitch. You'd better think twice before you go around using your dramatic, narrow-minded generalities."

Now, Uhura and Natalia didn't get along for many reasons. Natalia couldn't stand Uhura, because the latter was basically holding her back. Natalia wanted to be an Empress, but she needed someone to replace her. Uhura didn't want to ascend to the rank of Queen. So unless another Princess got promoted, Natalia was staying right where she was. Personally, Uhura thought it was for the best. One of the main reasons why Uhura couldn't stand Natalia was because she basically did everything with no regards to her children at all; it was as if they were plants in her living room that needed to be watered every now and again, but mostly ignored and expected to take care of themselves.

"I'll keep that in mind." Natalia sneered back at her, refusing to back down. "My apologies, _Orphan Annie_."

"Orphan Annie?" Uhura repeated, her laughter cold and short. "That's the best you can do? Tell me, Natalia… why are you so bitter? What mistakes could someone as _perfect_ as you _**possibly**_ make to get yourself into this current predicament? Let's see... you're thirty-two. You have three kids, all from different fathers. One of those fathers is a drug dealer who almost killed you three years ago. Another is a politician that sends you a fat check every month just keep you quiet _and_ child support, although I doubt you use the money on Brianna anyway. Do you even _know_ who the third father is?

"I may be a little, pathetic orphan in _your_ eyes, but at least I know how to keep the scum I work with away from the people I care about. I never dragged anyone down with me into this dark world or brought anyone into it. I may have done wrong by many people and let down those I care about. But I've never turned my back on the world and its people. You can be cynical and hateful all you want.

"But at the end of the day, everyone has a choice. You **chose** to be a prostitute. You chose to interact with the scum and the monsters and the beasts that inhabit this planet. So don't taint anyone else with your hypocrisy. You say that all men are disgusting pigs? Maybe a more accurate generalization would be: all men who seek prostitutes are disgusting pigs. You can't just stereotype anyone you want to, Natalia." Uhura crossed her arms over her chest.

"The only difference between the men that don't fuck me and the men that do is that the latter don't bother hiding the ugliness inside of them." Natalia spat out vehemently.

"If you wanted to interact with decent men, then maybe you shouldn't have become a prostitute. You _may_ want to consider changing your career. I'm sure your children will appreciate it." Uhura snapped back at the brunette.

"Hey, hey! I think Natalia just wanted to give me some relationship advice! And she can't do that if you kill her, Uhura, so please don't!" Sweet Pea bustled her way in between the two fiery women. It was quite clear that neither of them would back down. "Why don't we let Natalia speak first... and then you can give me your advice, Uhura! So that way I get two opinions and I'm, uh, dually informed. Isn't that great?"

Natalia immediately began speaking, turning her full attention to Sweet Pea. "Listen to me, Sweet Pea. Men aren't to be trusted. Sure, you may think the boy in your class really cares about your feelings, but let's be honest here. The only thing they care about is-"

"Actually… before we go any further, there's something I should probably tell you. The person I like is a girl." Sweet Pea blushed and Uhura's eyes widened.

_Couldn't she have mentioned that BEFORE Natalia and I had our verbal spat?_ Uhura growled to herself, but then concentrated on what Sweet Pea was saying:

"-trust men and I probably never will. Trust is a big part of any relationship and I just don't have the capacity to trust anyone with a penis. My father is gone, he took off on my Mom and me when I was still a toddler. She had to work twice as hard as she usually did after he left because she had to support us. I never forgave him… and I grew up without a father figure.

"My stepfather… sure he brought in the money… but he's obviously no role model. I already had trust issues with men and he wrecked me. He completely and utterly wrecked me for years and years until I couldn't take it anymore. I don't understand men and I don't want to. I wish I knew a grandfather or an uncle… but I don't and I didn't grow up around any men I liked.

"And this girl… she knows I'm a prostitute. She knows everything I've been through and she doesn't judge me. The other kids… they see the clothes I wear. They see how ratty and pathetic I seem sometimes in school and they point and judge. She's the one thing in this fucked up world that makes any sense. She's the one thing that I care about and the one thing that hasn't been taken away from me yet." Sweet Pea broke off and sighed. "Her parents are normal. She even has a dog! She plays the piano, she's smart… and yet she chooses to associate with me. And she doesn't think I'm a charity case or I need to be saved or… I don't know." Another sigh.

Natalia snorted, but didn't say anything. She clearly thought everything Sweet Pea was saying was total bullshit. Uhura, on the other hand, wasn't expecting Sweet Pea to speak so sincerely and openly. The girl was never usually serious. So she decided to break the silence by asking a simple question. "What's her name?" Uhura said curiously. She may as well be supportive, if anything.

"Lucille." Sweet Pea sighed out, a smile on her lips.

"Oh please." Natalia stood up, her face as stony and cynical as ever. "You're only sixteen. You can't possibly know that you've sworn off men for good. Never say never; that's what my mother used to say to me all the time. You think you like this girl? Wonderful… have fun with her. But let's be real here. If you really cared about this girl like you seem to think you do, you would've quit by now."

Uhura felt her temper flare up, but held herself back. "What's that supposed to mean?" Sweet Pea frowned, her eyes darkening. "I can't just quit my-"

"It's impossible, in our line of work, to stay employed and sustain a healthy, romantic relationship with someone else. Unless you've lied to them, in which case, I'd give it six months. But since you told this girl that you're a whore, what makes you think she'd ever think about kissing you?" Natalia turned around, ready to walk away. "Do us a favor and skip all the dramatics, the fairytale drama. So you have a crush on this girl, fine. Those feelings will fade away over the summer; you'll go back to school in the fall and fall for someone else. You teenagers are all so theatrical and capricious." And with that, the Russian woman tossed her brown head and stalked away.

"What does she know?" Sweet Pea growled out, her hands becoming fists. "You don't anything about how I feel!" She shouted at Natalia's back, but the woman didn't even turn around. The brunette simply walked up out the front door and slammed it shut.

Uhura inwardly sighed. _So much for studying French vocabulary._ She reluctantly turned to Sweet Pea, who looked as if she were on the verge of tears. "Sweet Pea, Natalia is pessimistic and that's all. Don't take it personally; she treats everyone the same. However, some of the things she said weren't too far off. It probably wouldn't be a good idea for you to get too serious about this Lucille, because if you do, then eventually you'd have to choose between her and your job. And you need to remember that if you quit, you'll be kicked out of this house.

"As for Natalia, she was wrong to shoot down your feelings and trivialize them like that. Like I said before, she's bitter. You still have your whole life ahead of you. You can still enjoy it. She can't… she's stuck in this nasty cycle and she's spiraling out of control. Don't worry about what she thinks. Only you know how you feel. And it's _okay_ to be a teenager and be fickle, because when you're older, you really can't afford to do so." Uhura put an arm around Sweet Pea's shoulders. "Now, how do you think this girl feels about you?"

"I don't know… we're good friends, we've been friends since I transfered0. She's in my French class. She's really good and she usually helps me. I just didn't want to burden her this time." Sweet Pea wiped her tears away. "Natalia's a bitch."

"You have every right to be angry with her, but let's get back to business. _Now_ are you going to concentrate so you can impress Lucille with your newfound knowledge?" Uhura grinned hopefully, but on the inside, she completely agreed with Sweet Pea. Natalia _was_ a bitch. Orphan Annie? The damn bitch was lucky she didn't have a French textbook stuck up her ass. She mentally calmed herself down, remembering that she had a job to do.

"Don't ever be a teacher… you'd drive your kids crazy. Study, study, study." Sweet Pea rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, let's go back and sit down." Uhura cheerfully led her pupil back to the table they had been sitting at. "If I do well on your next quiz, will you teach me some curse words?"

"Why?" Uhura raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"So I can insult Natalia and she won't even know. Russian and French aren't similar, right?" Sweet Pea smiled sweetly and the older teen just gave her a look. "Oh, come on! I know you know how to-"

"If you get _EVERY_ one of my questions right, then we'll see." Uhura crossed her arms over her chest. Sweet Pea cheered and excitedly waited for her to begin.

* * *

She was wearing a cute, white dress. It flowed freely and comfortably and didn't cling anywhere. It moved with the wind, it moved with her as she ran through the cool grass. She kept on running until she found it. She ran up to the fence and with adrenalin coursing through her veins, she threw herself up so that she was standing on the middle rung of the white fence, gripping the top one, ready to fling herself to the other side. Her hair whipped about with the wind, strands flying up this way and that way gracefully.

Her brown eyes were wide open with wonder and respect. For beyond the fence, stood a majestic horse, a white horse with multiple brown spots and a white mane. It was beautiful. The horse was foreign, unlike anything she had ever seen. It seemed calm as it nibbled the grass below it. The horse's head glanced up to look at her for a second, but then continued on grazing about the pasture it had been imprisoned in.

Slowly, cautiously, she tossed her body over the fence and landed on the ground. The horse didn't budge, but eyed her warily. "It's okay. I won't hurt you, I promise. I just want to be your friend. I've never had a horse friend before. And you're different. I like things that are different." She sucked in a breath as she studied the horse. It really was a magnificent creature.

The horse neighed in response, tossing his head, revealing the rippling muscles of its neck. She looked down at her hand; there was a red, juicy apple in it. She had always read in books that horses liked apples and carrots. It was certainly worth a try. She gently approached the horse with her hand outstretched, apple glistening in her hand. The horse backed up once, but then stared straight at her, its deep, brown eyes boring into her very soul. She almost lost her composure and stopped walking. But she didn't; she kept on.

As soon as she was within an arm's reach of the horse, she stopped walking. She held her arm out as far as it could go, offering the apple to the animal. Its head leaned down to sniff the apple and her hand. Its eyes locked with hers and something passed between them. Trust. The horse took a bite out of the apple and chewed slowly, its flat teeth gnawing at the fruit. She stayed completely still as the horse devoured the fruit, its eyes never leaving hers. Finally, the horse took a step back and tossed its head again, letting out a delighted neigh.

"You're welcome." She grinned and threw all caution to the wind. She went forward and put her hand on the horse's neck. It did nothing in response and her heart smiled. She began rubbing the horse's thick neck, her fingers twirling through its white mane.

"You're beautiful, did you know that? I never thought that I would be friends with a horse. A horse!" She chuckled as the horse neighed again. "My friends would call me weird, but I like different things. You're a horse and I'm a human. But we both like apples, right? So even though we're different… we still have something in common. Isn't that amazing? That despite our vast differences, we've managed to connect."

She looked around. The world was changing. It was becoming brighter. It was becoming so bright, she couldn't see anymore. She threw both arms around the horse and hid her face in its neck. The horse would protect her from everything, even the light…

* * *

"You've had some fucked up dreams before, but this takes the cake." Gaila snorted as she sipped her beer.

"Gaila, it's two o'clock in the afternoon. Do you really need to drink that?" Uhura questioned disapprovingly. They were sitting in a café, having a light lunch.

"I'm off today. I can drink whenever the fuck I want." The redhead grinned lazily at her companion, who shot her an annoyed look. "Now let's get back to this dream of yours. A horse? Have you ever even ridden a horse?"

"No… I don't think so…" Uhura put her finger on her chin. "I could have and maybe I forgot about it."

"Or maybe… maybe the horse is a metaphor." Gaila smirked, drawing a smiley face on her cold glass. "For a certain Vulcan we know."

Uhura groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Enough with this already! You've brought him up a million times! Can we _not_ talk about Spock?" She hissed at the female. "And no, the horse is NOT a metaphor for Spock! I don't know where you came up with that nonsense! Since when are you a dream interpreter anyway?"

"Well, it's obvious. You met a horse, said a whole bunch of introspective shit, gave it an apple, and then the two of you become friends." Gaila rolled her eyes as Uhura began sputtering and clenching her fists. "I wouldn't peg the Commander as a horse, though. Certainly interesting… I always thought of him as more of a-" She broke off as Uhura threw a piece of ice at her face. It was the Orion's turn to sputter in surprise.

"The horse is not Spock." Uhura pointed her finger at Gaila's face. "End of discussion." Gaila opened her mouth to retort, when Uhura's PADD began ringing. The dark-haired teen pulled it out in confusion. Then she realized who it was. She took a deep breath, gave Gaila one of her looks, and pressed the button. "Hello, Aunt Bora."

"I trust you are still doing well." Aunt Bora began, waiting for her niece to respond. When Uhura said nothing, she continued on speaking: "I've sent you your monthly check. Contact my assistant if you are in need of any additional resources."

"Yes, I will. How is she?" Uhura blurted out impatiently. She was in a bad mood and feeling confrontational, especially after the argument with Natalia and the bizarre dream. And she was fed up with Aunt Bora. Actually, she was fed up with a lot of things. It had been a weird couple of days.

"You're a smart girl, Nyota. I am not sure why you continue to ask this question every month, when you and I both know that-" Aunt Bora's eyes were laced with annoyance.

"No, no I _DON'T_ know, because you won't tell me anything!" Uhura snapped out, interrupting her relative. "And I'm sick of it! I have every right to know how she is! She's my-"

"Actually, you have _no_ rights. I am still her legal guardian, as was stated in your parent's will. I may not be _yours_ anymore, but that certainly doesn't give you the right to speak to me so disrespectfully. I know you were raised better than that. What would my brother-" Aunt Bora began crossly.

"You kicked me out when I was fifteen." Uhura hissed, her voice deadly and low. "What would my father say about that?" Her father was Bora's younger brother. Aunt Bora said nothing in reply, her angry mouth a thin line. She finally said it, crossed the line that hadn't crossed in years. And her aunt's slightly paled face was her reward. It was a worthy prize, considering how aloof the woman was.

"I believe this conversation is over." Aunt Bora finally uttered, her eyes narrowed. "I will contact you next month. I hope you will have retrieved your manners by then." And with that, her countenance disappeared, leaving Uhura fuming, glaring at the PADD and Gaila staring at her as if she had a third arm.

"I know, I know." Uhura stole a look at Gaila's shocked face. "I'm just a bit aggravated today. I haven't been myself lately..."

"Just make sure you pick some good looking men tomorrow, because you sure as hell need to get laid. Sex makes ya feel good, relieves all that pressure." Gaila grinned and gulped her beer. _She really misses her…_ The Orion girl swore to herself, cursing Bora and anyone else who had hurt her best friend. Uhura had been through enough. And so, Gaila continued on teasing Uhura about Spock, knowing that not commenting on her companion's behavior was the right thing to do. Uhura didn't need anymore stress.

* * *

Strawberry ice cream and Spock was a delightful combination, one which Uhura would have to indulge herself in more frequently. She smiled before she plunged the spoon into her mouth, savoring every last drop of the pink, sprinkle-covered goodness. Spock of course, didn't have any ice cream. He wasn't the least bit affected by the heat of the afternoon sun. The two of them were walking through the park together, being lapped by joggers and dog-walkers and hyper children who were reveling in the longest recess of all: summer. All in all, it was a great day.

"How is your ice cream?" Spock questioned as they walked along the path, the branch's shadows offering them some temporary shade.

"It's delicious!" Uhura grinned as she dug into her treat. "You should have gotten some." A mischievous thought crossed her mind. No… she couldn't.

"As I have said before, I do not enjoy-" Spock broke off as Uhura tugged on his arm. With an arched eyebrow, he turned towards her, looking down and watched in amazement as Uhura literally stuffed her spoon into his mouth. The Vulcan stopped walking with a jolt, the cold flavor floating over his tongue. It took him a bit to actually process what had happened. To put it frankly, he was only a bit surprised that Uhura had the nerve to do such a thing, but he was _more_ surprised by the fact that he didn't mind at all; it was something he could tolerate.

He then began to do what he had always done well: analyze. The texture of the treat was nice and soothing, but he was not particularly thrilled with the flavor. Perhaps he would try vanilla next time, something simpler. He felt somewhat flustered and then realized that the spoon Uhura had placed into his oral cavity had been in her own. The thought alone nearly turned his cheeks green and he fought to control himself and his wandering thoughts.

Uhura bent over laughing at the curious, almost thoughtful expression on Spock's face. "Only you," She began when she regained control over her breathing. "can pull off such a look with a spoon sticking out of your mouth!" Spock removed the spoon, handed it back to her, and began walking again, his strides quick and smooth.

Chuckling slightly, the teen caught up with Spock, falling into stride with him. "Did you like it?" She shoveled another spoonful into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the spoon. A faint thought raced through her mind, that she had tasted something other than ice cream, but she chased it away and ignored it.

"Yes, but I would prefer it if next time, I was allowed to feed myself. I am perfectly capable of doing so." Spock stated, denying the fact that he _might_ have liked it; denying the fact that he would like to experience it _again_, if only to verify that he liked it.

"Why, of course, Commander!" Uhura snorted, saluting him playfully.

"Nyota!!!" A high, overexcited voice screeched, nearly making Uhura wince. She looked around for the culprit. Spock raised an eyebrow at her. Uhura finally spotted the owner of the voice: a tiny, blonde girl racing towards her, a big smile on her face. She was wearing a multi-colored tank top, jean shorts, and bright pink flip flops.

Uhura smiled back and knelt down just in time for the blonde to throw herself into her arms. "It's been a while, Brianna." She hugged the girl tightly and rubbed her back. "What are you doing here?" Despite her cheerful greeting, Uhura was inwardly worried. She hadn't seen Natalia anywhere (not that she expected to) which meant that Brianna was probably by herself. **_It wasn't fair._** Uhura looked around at some of the other parents spending time with their children. Why had Brianna and she been denied this?

Brianna pulled away from Uhura and stared at her happily. She began jabbering on and on about school: her teacher, how one of the boys had teased her all the time but now left her alone, her friend that could burp the alphabet, the drawings and the songs they sang in class and how she wanted ice cream, etc. Life was certainly easier at seven. However, Uhura knew that everything in Brianna's life wasn't unicorns and rainbows and candy. Natalia was her mother. That was punishment enough.

Brianna's eyes were so startling and riveting. They were the same color as Natalia's, that steel, bluish gray. But her eyes were so full of life and hope, they weren't cold and dead like her mother's eyes. She was a good kid in a bad situation… the circumstances she had been born into were horrific at best.

"That's wonderful." Uhura rose to her feet, her knees feeling uncomfortable. Brianna instantly grabbed onto her hand. "Are you here by yourself?" She had to ask, even though she knew the answer.

"Yeah, Tony is playing at his friend's house and he said I couldn't come and Kitty is taking a nap so I'm playing hide and seek with Amy and then I'll go back home in an hour cuz I think she'll be up by then." Brianna babbled on, proud of herself for coming up with such a foolproof plan.

"So Katriona is home alone?" Uhura crossed her arms over her chest, frowning slightly. Spock watched the exchange between the two, obviously intrigued by this new side of Uhura. Clearly she had some sort of bond with the child.

"Um… yeah." Brianna admitted, looking away from Uhura guiltily.

"Brianna… I know that you want to play with your friends, but your sister is _three_. She should not be home alone, even if she's sleeping." Uhura began rubbing her fingers on her temple. She could practically feel the migraine forming. These kids were not her responsibility, she had no formal ties to them whatsoever, but she couldn't help it! Her maternal instincts kicked in, just as they had the first time she had met the kids.

"But Tony gets to go and play and Mommy went out and she's always gone all the time and I want to play, too!" Brianna pouted unhappily and stomped on the ground. "It's not fair!"

"I know, I know…" Uhura understood exactly what the child was saying. Brianna didn't get to be a normal little girl. She had to act older than she was; she had to deal with things that other kids her age didn't and she had to mature earlier and faster in order to cope with those things. She didn't deserve it at all. No child deserved it. "Why don't we make a deal, okay Bri?"

"What is it?" Brianna cocked her head to one side, her expression open. Uhura knelt down again, putting her hands on the blonde's shoulders.

"If you go home right now and stay with your sister, I will talk to your mother and convince her to hire another babysitter, for Katriona." The teen promised seriously. "Then you can play with your friends all you want."

"Are you gonna watch us again?" Brianna burst out excitedly, her eyes lighting up. Uhura inwardly sighed, hating to disappoint the girl.

"No, honey, you know I'm not allowed to anymore. Your mother and I don't get along, remember?" Uhura tapped Brianna on the head as the child's face fell. "But I have someone in mind."

"Okay then… you promise?" Brianna asked hopefully, her angelic face almost making Uhura wince with guilt. That was it. She _would_ get Natalia to listen to her. She couldn't let that little girl down. Not anymore.

"Yes, I promise. Now go home!" Uhura thrust the remainder of her ice cream at Brianna, who seized it happily. "A little treat for the walk home."

"Thanks, Nyota! Bye!!!" The blonde child shouted over her shoulder as she dashed off. Uhura watched her talk to a group of children near some swings and then race off in another direction. She watched the little girl's back until she couldn't see Brianna anymore, letting out a tiny sigh.

Spock said nothing throughout the entire exchange and Uhura knew he wanted to know what happened. It was only logical. But she couldn't tell him everything. There were things he didn't need to know, things he probably shouldn't have known. Before the Vulcan could even say anything, Uhura began walking and talking at the same time, Spock immediately following her:

"When I first got my job, it was barely enough to pay my rent. New girls don't earn that much money. I needed more for bills, food, clothes… and one of the older women I work with, Natalia, offered me a job. I started babysitting her son, Anthony, who was about six or seven at the time and Brianna, who was three. It didn't take me long to realize that she neglected them.

"The fridge was always full and the apartment was always clean. She takes them regularly to the doctor and the dentist. But I saw that there weren't enough books or toys or movies or games for them. She didn't care about Tony at all… and she saw Brianna as the moneymaker, because her father is some big politician that sends her large amounts of money to keep quiet. I babysat them for almost a year… but then Natalia got pregnant again and I lost it.

"I screamed at her putting her kids through so much. And I couldn't believe that she was bringing another child into this world. She wasn't fit to be a mother, I told her. Needless to say, she fired me and forbade me to come near them again. By this time, I was making more money and my Aunt was sending me checks, so I was doing fairly okay. I was worried about the kids, so I gave Tony my number and address, just in case. I've seen them sporadically over the past couple years." Uhura smiled sadly as she looked up at the sky.

There were a lot of things she didn't mention. She didn't mention that those kids didn't live in a welcoming, stimulating environment at all. She didn't say that Tony's drug dealing father had raped Natalia and that's how her firstborn came to be. She didn't say that Natalia would sometimes beat Tony, as if to make him pay for his father's sin. She didn't tell him that when she first met the kids, Tony couldn't read and Brianna was so shy, she barely spoke at all.

Their twisted family had many dark secrets and she wasn't going to divulge them all. Because Tony and Brianna were smart kids… they learned how to survive without a mother's love. They both deserved every iota of dignity she could offer. And so, Uhura would remain silent. She would not disgrace them by spilling each and every last horror story that had taken place in that apartment.

"She should have her children taken away from her." Spock said definitively, a slight frown on his face. His hands were clasped behind his back, as always. "A toddler should not be left home alone; it is extremely hazardous."

"I wish it were that easy…" Uhura snorted. "But her case, like many others, slips through the cracks. Not to mention she's got Brianna's father on her side."

"How will you convince their mother to hire another babysitter?"

"I know Natalia… I know her more than I would care to admit… and she knows me, too. I know what makes her tick and I know how to push her buttons. I'll-"

"Push her buttons?"

"Oh… sorry. Well, basically, all idioms aside, I know Natalia so well I can manipulate her into doing whatever I want."

"I can only hope you cannot do the same to me, Ms. Uhura."

"I've told you a million times, call me… Did you just make a joke, _Commander_?"

"Yes, I suppose it was a joke."

"Well, I'm glad you've got a sense of humor... Do you like horses, Spock?"

"I've never ridden one, so I cannot say definitively whether I do or don't. Why, may I ask, are you inquiring about them?"

"Oh… no reason. Just wanted to know."

"I see." The pair resumed their walk in comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery and the weather. But in the back of their minds… they were thinking of each other.

* * *

**Oh yes, random question. Someone suggested to me that I look for a beta. So lol does anyone want to be mine? I've never had one, so I'm not exactly sure how it works. But if anyone's up for the job, let me know! And if not, it's okay. **

**So I went to see District 9 and Inglourious Basterds last week. Both very, very good movies... and gruesome at times. But definitely worth watching. I highly recommend both of them!!! **

**Oh yes, the 3rd thing I wanted to say. I'm starting my 3rd year at college; I move back in on August 30th. So give me about a week to get used to my new schedule and I'll start Chapter 4 then. Check my profile if you want to know what I'm working on!!! **

**Thanks for reading!!!!!! :) **


	5. Chapter 4: Astral

**Hi!!! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner. College is hard shit. Let me just say that. I'm feeling somewhat down right now. I've also been sick since last Monday. I updated my other story the other night. So I finished up this chapter as fast as I could and here we are! **

**I'd like to thank: Ledophole, vanessaquebec, Babita, Kryska, Ladyhawke, lala, krishnochura, TheDreamerLady, and ToughSpirit for reviewing!! You guys are the best!!! I really appreciate that you took the time to review.**

**Anyway, there's an important dream in this. So I put the entire scene in bold. If that bothers you, kindly notify me and I'll change it. I only did it for emphasis.  
**

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* * *

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_**Chapter Four:**_

_**Astral  
**_

_You could be my someone  
You could be my sea  
You know that I will save you  
From all of the unclean  
_

_I wonder what you're doing  
I wonder where you are  
There's oceans in between us  
But that's not very far…_

Blurry --- Puddle of Mudd

* * *

Uhura listened to a throaty, sexy voice singing alongside thrashing drums and screaming guitars. The song was some kind of summer hit. The lyrics were deep without being overly philosophical and almost anyone could relate to them. She had liked it at first… but now it was overplayed. She was getting sick of it. Uhura looked around Club Hyacinth. She had already fulfilled half her quota for the night.

It was unbearably hot outside. Uhura was grateful for the air conditioning. The cool air felt good on her body. She wished she could put her hair up in a ponytail, to get it off her neck. But it would have messed up her "image". With her long hair flowing down her back, her subtle but embellishing makeup, her short, purple skirt, her silver halter top, her silver heels, and her matching hoops and bangles… she was attracting a lot of attention. It was one of her best outfits. She would strut through the club, dancing with some men and purposely ignoring the others she wanted to sleep with. Sooner or later… they would come to her. She wore this outfit if she wanted to get her job done quickly. And today, Uhura wanted to go to bed early.

Uhura spotted a man intensely staring at her. She casually looked around and saw Natalia looking at the same man. The male was blonde, mid thirties, dressed in a polo shirt and ironed khakis. With a cocky smirk on her face, she pranced through the crowd, keeping Natalia's stalking form in her peripheral vision. Without missing a beat, she turned around rapidly, facing the angry brunette.

"Move out of my way. He's mine." Natalia said with a fake smile on her face.

"Oh, really now?" Uhura raised an eyebrow. "Well then, allow me to help you… seal the deal." She twirled around and fixed her eyes upon the blonde beauty. She winked slyly at him as she made her way towards him.

"Uhura!" Natalia hissed, her heels clicking on the floor as she tailed the younger woman.

"Hi there." Uhura purred at the blonde, placing her hand on his chest. His blue eyes bored into hers. He certainly had some passionate, swirling eyes. Not as thrilling as Spock's. But wait… now wasn't the time to think of him. This… _this_ was for Brianna. She had a promise to keep. "What's your name?"

"Alex." He had a deep voice with just a hint of a foreign accent that almost made her heart skip a beat. The blonde carried himself with an air of importance; he had an almost political look about him. To put it frankly, he was exactly the kind of man Natalia craved. Uhura could practically feel Natalia breathing down her neck; her anger burning holes into the back of her neck. "I'm looking for someone who's willing to experiment."

"A man who knows exactly what he wants." Uhura stepped to the side, gesturing to Natalia. "Then perhaps you'd be more interested in my friend here. This is Queen Sasha. She'd be more than willing to… accommodate you and _all_ your needs." Natalia stared at her for a second, holding back a frown. The brunette was taken aback.

"Queen Sasha… my hotel room is five blocks away." Alex fixed his blue stare on Natalia. The man oozed sex appeal; she'd give him that.

"But… before you go, I've just got one question for you." Uhura faked innocence, even cocking her head to the side. Alex looked at her expectantly and Natalia's eyes narrowed. "Now, I'm just warning you, you've got to be careful with this one. She tends to lay off the contraceptives every once in a while… when she wants someone rich and promising to impregnate her. Are you rich and promising, Alex?"

"You bitch. You fucking bitch." Natalia seethed.

Alex raised an eyebrow at Uhura, partially questioning her behavior and partially shocked by her revelation. "I see… and what if I desire to have children and her plan is to my liking?" He was challenging her.

"Well then, be prepared to send her a fat check for the rest of your life. Not that she'll actually use it on your child." Uhura had to hold back a snort. Natalia's hands were fists and her face was turning red. "She will however, neglect and possibly beat him or her. So I'd be careful about… _going along with her plan_, unless you want an innocent life to suffer for the next eighteen years."

"I will take my leave then. Thank you… for your _kind_ warning." Alex nodded his head at Uhura, his shrewd eyes looking her over. He knew something else was going on. The blonde wasn't an idiot. So he walked away from the two women, looking for a younger girl, one with presumably less… complications.

As soon as Alex was out of sight, Natalia started screaming at Uhura. "How dare you? I have a quota to fulfill and you had no right to disrupt-"

"Why was your three-year-old daughter home alone during the day?" Uhura crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes fiery.

"You are not to meddle in my children's lives and you know it!" Natalia hissed back. "If I want to beat the little bastards, that's none of your fucking-"

"What's going on here, ladies?" Coyote seemingly appeared out of nowhere, a grimace plastered onto his face. "You're disturbing the peace. I don't like it." Indeed, there were some awkward glances going around them. Uhura had to hold back her glee. Before Natalia could say anything, the teen began speaking:

"Natalia just threatened to beat her children. I recommend that she go to the psychiatrist early this month." Uhura stared right into Natalia's eyes as she spoke. "I think she's dealing with some… issues right now. What she needs is guidance." Every month, all the ranked girls (a.k.a. Duchesses and so on) were required to have a physical and psychological checkup. They all had a reputation to uphold… and any disease, physical or psychological would tarnish the overall image of Club H.

"I want written statements from Dr. Morrison that you're _both_ mentally fit and competent." Coyote snapped. Uhura was somewhat surprised, but not deterred. "If he doesn't think you're able to work… don't bother coming back until you've straightened yourselves out."

"Just out of curiosity, why am I going?" Uhura asked nonchalantly. As long as her plan worked, she wouldn't mind going to see Dr. Morrison early; it was just another thing to scratch off her list.

"You're not a vindictive person, Uhura." Coyote replied flatly. "You scared off one of her potentials. And for what reason? You've changed. And I don't know if that's a good thing."

"Sweet Pea needs money." Uhura turned to Natalia, blatantly ignoring her boss. "Hire her to watch Katriona while you're fucking around. And if you do… I will never mention your _questionable_ behavior in front of a potential again."

"And my compensation for Alex? I could have made a lot of money, money that could have put food on the table… for my dear children." Natalia grinned maliciously.

"I'm going on vacation for a week. You can cover my shifts… and my men." If it was one thing Natalia liked, it was overtime. Uhura had enough money saved that she could go a week without working. Coyote's face became a mixture of surprise and anger. This was the first vacation she had ever taken.

"I'll call Sweet Pea tomorrow." Natalia said easily, her eyes already seeing dollar signs. "If you want nothing else from me, Coyote, I'd like to return to my job."

"Both of you get out of my sight." Uhura had never heard Coyote sound so angry. "If the two of you think you can make such decisions over my head while I'm standing _RIGHT_ in front of you, then clearly you're not mentally competent to work. Get out!"

"Fine." Natalia tossed her head, a snarl in her throat. "You're the one who's losing money tonight. Uhura, your vacation has extended by one day."

"As you wish, my Queen." Uhura quipped at the woman's back as she stomped away into the crowd. She took one look at Coyote and decided to get the heck out of there. An eight-day vacation was looking pretty damn good. Maybe he wouldn't be as pissed then.

* * *

"What the hell am I going to do with you?" Uhura could see Gaila rolling her eyes. "You know he forced us all to go to some mandatory meeting last night?"

"Really? Such a shame I missed it." Uhura cackled. Two days into her vacation and she was already bored. Besides spending time with Spock and becoming fluent in Klingon, she had nothing else to do. She had called the redhead that afternoon just to talk.

"Yeah, yeah… he fucking lectured us about being professional and not manipulating the system and if we want to go on vacation, we have to consult him first so our time can be distributed equally among everyone else and blah, blah, blah! It was unbearable! I had to show up an hour early to work just so he could-"

"Did you talk to Sweet Pea?"

"Yes, I did. She watched the kids yesterday. She said that the youngest one, Tiger or whatever-"

"Kitty."

"Yeah, yeah, Kitty, okay. Kitty apparently doesn't like strangers and hid from her for two hours. The boy, Anthony ignores her, says he doesn't _need_ a babysitter. He left the apartment without even telling her. And Brianna doesn't listen to her at all, called her a 'fake bitch' apparently. Those kids sound like little demons to-"

"It just takes them a while to get used to new people. They have a hard time trusting others. I mean, it's understandable. Natalia is their mother. Who knows what kind of riffraff she has around them."

"If you interrupt me one more time, Nyota, I'm going to hang up on you!"

"Okay, okay, sorry. I'm just feeling… restless."

"Maybe you should tell that to Dr. Morrison. When's your appointment?"

"Tomorrow. I've got nothing to do. Tell me more. What else did Sweet Pea say?"

"She got a C- in French. She wanted to thank you for that and the job. Although, I'm kind of surprised, because you made those kids seem like angels."

"When I first started, they were wary… and don't they have a right to be? There's no stability in their lives. The only thing that's certain is that they can count on themselves. I'm sure they'll warm up to Sweet Pea… but just in case, I'll give Tony a call later."

"What are you going to say?"

"You don't have to like her, but you do have to respect her. And that's all I plan on saying. She's not there to be their friend, she's not their mother. I just want someone to be there so Katriona isn't home alone."

"You know… those kids aren't you responsibility."

"I know… but I can't sit around and do nothing. That makes me just as bad as Natalia. They need all the help they can get."

"Yeah… you definitely need to go see the good doctor. What's with all this guilt? How can you possibly be on the same level as Natalia? You don't beat those kids!"

"I was twelve when my parents died, Gaila. I missed out on a lot… but at least I can say for those twelve years, I was loved. I was cared for. I had parents that provided for me, that guided me. And what do they have? They've _never_ experienced the love of a parent. And what I can't understand is… who has it worse? Is it worse to have good parents and lose them… or never have them at all? It's not guilt that motivates me, Gaila, it's empathy.

"And I know that, getting them a new babysitter isn't some big accomplishment. But at least I know I did something good for those kids. Brianna is going to remember when she goes to play with her friends that she _can_ do so without worrying about her sister. And she's going to remember that for once… someone made a promise to her and kept it. In my opinion, that's worth getting chewed out by Coyote."

Gaila didn't reply. She was crying.

* * *

It wasn't that Uhura disliked psychiatrists. She applauded the entire field of psychology and knew how complex and intricate it was. She appreciated the people who were able to understand and delve into the minds of others and help them. She knew that it wasn't an easy profession to dive into and that some people just had the perfect combination of intellect and social skills to pull it off. That being said, she could not stand Dr. Morrison. He did not exemplify _any_ of the reasons why she respected psychology. In fact, she and psychology now had somewhat of a love-hate relationship, all thanks to him. It was rather akin to thoroughly enjoying that one restaurant… until finding hair in your food. Dr. Morrison was the disgusting hair, follicle attached and all.

Uhura was sitting in Dr. Morrison's office. The good doctor himself was getting some paperwork from his secretary in the other room. She hated his office. It was dusty, the furniture wasn't the least bit comfortable, his desk always was perpetually messy, and it was full of bookshelves containing intimidating books on psychiatric disorders. It didn't even make sense for him to HAVE so many books. Clearly, he hadn't gotten the memo about entering the next millennium. And there was the hole in his wall by the window, where one of his patients had angrily punched the wall.

Dr. Morrison knew his psychiatry; he was a genius, most likely a prodigy during childhood. But he was one of the most socially awkward people she had ever met. Actually he wasn't awkward at all… he just disregarded societal norms and rules. It made Uhura wonder how he even got licensed in his profession. She shifted on the blue couch, praying that she had the patience to deal with this man.

Uhura cringed as Dr. Morrison threw open the door to his office and stomped in. He was fat with disheveled brown hair and plain brown eyes. She was instantly reminded of why she abhorred him. "Aaah, Nyota!!!" Reason number one: He called her by first name. No matter how many times she corrected him, he just didn't listen.

"Hi." Uhura replied, inwardly sighing. Dr. Morrison stumbled over to his desk and shuffled through all the shit that was on it. He pulled out a stack of papers from underneath a paperweight and sifted through them rapidly. He then picked out one and ran his eyes over it.

"So… you're a trickster, eh? Kind of like a fox." Dr. Morrison chuckled to himself and put the paper back on his desk. "I take it Coyote doesn't like foxes."

"I wouldn't know." Uhura smiled tightly. The couch she was sitting on was too big and too hard. It was awkward to sit on such a couch, especially alone.

"Ah, I guess you wouldn't. That's okay though." Dr. Morrison grinned and then his eyes widened. "Why don't you tell me what happened? Or better yet, what's happening?"

"There's nothing happening." Uhura snapped back. "Natalia's young child was being left home alone. She needed a babysitter. I provided one."

"Yes, yes, Natalia said something quite similar. But Coyote seems to think differently." Dr. Morrison scratched the outside of his ear. "You know what he thinks?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Uhura suggested through her teeth.

"Well, Coyote thinks that you manipulated Natalia and coerced her into accepting your terms through providing tantalizing compensation." He still had that damn smile on his face.

"Nope. That's not what happened at all." _I will not punch a hole in this wall. I will not._ The teen thought to herself as her hands became fists.

"You seem to be somewhat irritable. Are you menstruating?" Dr. Morrison tapped his finger on his chin. "Oh, dear me, I've forgotten about the contraceptives that you're all on. Never mind that question, on with the next one. Why did you think Natalia needed a babysitter? I'm smart you see… I skipped the part where I ask you why her children's wellbeing is any of your business. But I remember that you watched them and must have some kind of… er maternal bond with the children, yes, yes, that's it. So, Nyota?"

"I was in the park and I saw her playing with-"

"Well, why were you in the park? What were you doing there?" Dr. Morrison interrupted obnoxiously. "If I may recall… you've been engaging in some peculiar behavior lately. Last month you mentioned going to some new coffee shop, to the beach, to a play of some sort… you're doing all kinds of new things… but with whom?" And that was how he probably got his license. His eloquence was horrifying at best, but the nucleus of it, the message, it was always clear and striking. She knew then that he had a distinctive picture of what was going on with her. He always knew.

"A friend."

"A friend? Oh… are you dating this friend?"

"No, I'm not."

"And how is your language acquisition going? You were going to start on Klingon, weren't you? How's that going?"

"It's been fine."

"How much of it have you conquered? Are you speaking in full sentences? Paragraphs perhaps? Could you possibly travel to this planet and successfully-"

"NO! I don't know that much."

"Well, why not? You've had all the time in the world. Learning languages is the only thing you do outside of work, in terms of leisure. Isn't that right?"

"No… I've been busy."

"Busy? Doing what? Have you been busy with this new friend of yours? Has he or she… changed you in some way, affected your physical, mental, and social routines? Is this friend the reason why you're risking your job?"

"I'm not risking my job! He's not the reason why!"

"Oh, oh, your friend is a male? I'm so delighted that you've let me in, Nyota, truly delighted. And so, in return, I'm going to share some of my insight with you. That okay?"

"Perfect."

"You can have all the fun you want with your friend. But keep your professional life and your private life separate. Don't let either impede on each other. Or else… you'll have to pick between the two… or risk losing them both. That's my advice. Now, my advice as Coyote's employee, I advise you to drop him. A boyfriend isn't as permanent as a job. We know this. You have a good head on your shoulders, you're sensible.

"This is the first time this has happened to you in… oh three, four years of employment? That's commendable. Coyote likes you; you bring in the big bucks. Unless this man is willing to provide for you, have your little summer fling and move on. Don't let yourself be changed by some outside force. You determine your destiny. You write it. If you're going to change, do it yourself. I trust you'll make the right decision. I will have that statement for Coyote later." Dr. Morrison folded his hands and smiled brightly at Uhura. She was so mad she was seeing red. But at least she got out of the appointment early… on good behavior, apparently.

* * *

"You are in a dismal mood." Spock commented lightly. The two of them had been watching a play, but left early. Uhura hadn't been paying attention. The Vulcan had noticed this peculiar behavior and suggested that they leave during intermission. Thus, the two of them were walking through the illuminated streets while the moon shone above them. He was walking her home. How romantic. If only…

"Yeah." Uhura sighed out, a sad smile on her face. "I've been doing some thinking lately. I always do, around this time of year."

"I am not sure I understand." Spock admitted.

"Summers are the hardest for me. Brings back bad memories." Uhura shrugged, not wanting to let him in any further than she had already. It wasn't like he cared anyway.

Spock didn't say anything in response and Uhura found herself growing somewhat cross. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was Natalia and the fact that she was a bitch. Maybe it was Brianna. Maybe it was the fact that she was an orphan. Maybe it was Dr. Morrison. Or maybe she was sick of pretending she wasn't getting attached to Spock. And attachments were a bad idea… especially the male ones. She couldn't lose her job. This, whatever _this_ was, it needed to stop.

"You know what? I think I'll walk myself home." Uhura stopped walking and crossed her arms over her chest. Spock slowly turned around and looked at her; clearly surprised. "Yeah, it's ok. You go home and do whatever it is you do, and I'll see you later."

"Why?" Spock asked simply… and it only infuriated her further. Why the hell was he asking when he didn't care anyway? He didn't care, didn't show emotion, didn't react at all! It was like he was moving in slow motion on purpose and millions of things were happening around him and he wasn't bothering to speed up and catch them or notice them or see them flashing right before his eyes.

And why was it that she _liked_ this part about him? What was wrong with her? Why was it that she was attracted to the differences between them? Why did she want to solve him, want to plunge deeper into him, and understand him? Why couldn't she just label him another man and let go of them? She had let go of so many people in her life… why not him?

"I'm not even going to answer that question." Uhura spat out. "Spock, I will see you later." She started to stomp past him and nearly fell forward as Spock seized her arm. He had an iron strong grip. She whipped her head around to glare at him. "What are you doing? Get off me." How the hell was he so fast? And strong?

"Do you have tea?"

"_What?_ Of course I fucking have tea! Why wouldn't I have it? And let-"

"I will fix myself a cup when we are in your apartment."

"You're not going to let go of me."

"You are on vacation, are you not? We will have plenty of time to talk. I will be… all ears."

"I didn't even know you knew that expression."

"There are a myriad of things I do not know about you as well."

And that was how Spock ended up in Uhura's apartment for the first time.

* * *

_Spock is sitting on my couch._ Uhura's hands shook as she washed her hands in the sink. _He's drinking a cup of tea… in my apartment_. It was odd, how at home he seemed, rummaging through her cabinets, boiling her water… and sitting on her couch. She felt horribly self-conscious. Wasn't her apartment too dirty? Too disorganized? What was he doing there? Why did he want to be there at all? Nothing made sense. Nothing.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I've had a lot on my mind lately. And you didn't do anything wrong." Uhura smiled nervously. She was beyond nervous.

"Is this why you are on vacation… to think about these things?" Spock questioned.

"No… I'm on vacation because I made Natalia look like a crazy bitch and in return, I gave her my hours for the week. But now Katriona has a babysitter." Uhura smirked. "My boss didn't like that very much. I had to go see my psychiatrist early."

"Psychiatrist?"

"Every month, us ranked girls have to go for our physical and psychological checkups. Coyote doesn't want you working if you're not physically or mentally fit. And he thinks… that because I pulled this stunt, that I'm not… well that I'm acting abnormally." She couldn't look into his eyes. But she knew he was staring right at her.

"Are you?" Spock challenged, his eyebrow cocked at her.

"I don't know. Things are always different during the summer. I always wonder and ask myself: 'What if?'" Uhura groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Can we stop talking about this now?"

"What would you like to talk about?" Spock asked. Her anger came back. It was rising like a wave on the horizon.

"Why the hell are you asking me so many questions?" Uhura looked up from her hands to glower at Spock. "You never ask-"

"You fascinate me." Spock interjected and her jaw dropped open. "Usually, when I am in your presence, I feel as if I need to learn more about you. Today seemed to be especially rough for you… and I wanted to know why. I apologize if I was too forward."

At first, Uhura wasn't sure what to say. Her heart was beating rapidly. Her mouth was dry. And she could not, could not, could not look at him. If she did, she probably would have passed out. Then that would have just ruined everything. "I don't think… I don't think you've _ever_ been that open with me." She said slowly, tasting the words on her tongue. She wiped her sweaty hands on her couch and took a deep breath.

"I am not ready to talk about it. But I can promise you... when I am… we will talk. I'll tell you everything." Uhura tried to will the tears away. "You just have to give me time." It didn't work. She took another deep breath, struggling to calm herself down. Here she was, lashing out at Spock for doing exactly what her psychiatrist should have done. How ungrateful could she be? She was spiteful and nasty and rude.

"It was not my intention to make you upset." Spock turned to her, worry and uncertainty apparent in his features. She practically scratched at her cheeks, wiping the tears away. Guilt and shame were upon her and she needed to get away. The world was spinning around at a million miles per hour and she just wanted to slow down and **_stop_**.

"No, no, it's okay." Uhura nodded her head up and down, up and down. She stood up quickly, her back facing Spock. "I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day." She could hear Spock rise to his feet… and then she felt his hand on her shoulder. Her eyes welled up again. Then she lost it. Before she knew what she was doing, she was crying on his chest, her hands gripping the front of his shirt. Spock stood still for a moment… and this his arms cautiously wrapped around her, his hands gently resting on her back. She didn't know how long she cried, how long they stood there, or how long he held her. Time seemed to stand still. Everything stopped spinning.

"I fucking hate psychiatrists." She said as she finally lifted her head from his chest, laughing quietly. Uhura wiped the rest of her tears away and breathed in slowly.

"Quite understandable." Spock replied and Uhura could nearly hear the smile in his voice. His arms were still around her.

"Are you smiling?" Uhura grinned, leaning her head forward so that it touched Spock's chest again. She wanted to stay like this forever. "Because if you are… I can feel it." Spock's arms pulled her even closer and she let out a giggle.

"If you are truly tired, I will leave and allow you to rest." Spock said a few moments later. Uhura didn't even blink and his arms were gone, leaving her with an empty feeling. For some reason, she felt slightly rejected. "Good night." He nodded his head at her and all but ran out of her apartment, leaving her standing there, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms again. He shut the door behind him.

Uhura slowly sank to her knees and stared dumbly at the window. She was in idiot. It was dark out. _What just happened?_ She felt lost, but she couldn't cry. She had cried enough. Maybe she would just go to bed, just sleep it all away. Yes, that was a good idea.

* * *

Spock resisted the urge to kick in the wall. The Vulcan was staring at the door he had just shut, his dark eyes almost burning holes through it. He had never felt such desire before. And what kind of monster, what kind of beast would desire to be with a woman while she was in such pain? What was wrong with him? It certainly wasn't pon farr. It couldn't have been. At least, Spock didn't think so. He didn't have any other symptoms.

Spock could hear her breathing. Her heart rate was normal. She wasn't crying. That was good. He softly placed his hand on her door and inhaled deeply. Her scent was still on his clothing. He would need to wash it… or it would drive him mad. The male spun on his heel and stalked down the hallway, thoughts of mediation on his mind.

It seemed like all he ever did was interact with Uhura and meditate afterwards. It wasn't a cycle… it was a dangerous, slippery slope and she would consume him. She would consume him and then he would belong to her. Spock almost stopped walking in shock. Meditation was starting to look more and more ineffective. _Nyota…_

* * *

**She was flying a kite. The light of the moon guided her along as she raced through the grass. A cool breeze whipped through her hair and made the multi-colored kite above her flap about. She ran and ran into nothingness. There was naught but nature around her.**

**"It's _my_ turn now, right Nyota?" A high-pitched voice whined. Nyota turned her head to her right to see a small girl, no older than seven. She had long, wavy black hair that reached the middle of her back and hazel eyes as big and as bright as the _moon_. Without warning, they sprinted alongside each other through the night.**

**"Of course... soon." Nyota answered, her legs pumping as fast as they could go. Her young companion managed to keep up with her, transfixed with the bright kite that seemed to be competing with the stars above.**

**"Can we play by the lake tomorrow, Nyota?" The tiny girl questioned excitedly as they dashed by a large tree. Nyota carefully steered the kite so it wouldn't get tangled up in the branches. "Daddy's gonna bring me to the antique shop after breakfast! Do you want anything?"**

**"A book, a book!!" Nyota shouted out enthusiastically. "A giant book in another language, foreign and exotic and unfamiliar and graceful!" They leapt over stray rocks as if they were boulders, picking up speed. They could have run forever… She looked up at the sky and noticed that the sky had gotten even darker, if that was possible. There were more clouds in the sky now, lit up by the moonlight.**

**"You always want the same thing. I want to be a spy!!" Yelling excitedly, the child threw her arms in the air. "Oh… but why is it so cold? I don't like it!" It had gotten colder… Nyota could see her breath in front of her as she huffed and puffed along. Nyota's traveling companion stopped running, rubbing her goose-bump covered arms. "I'm gonna go be the _moon_ now, okay? You can go play with the _stars_!"**

**Nyota halted in her tracks and turned around, but the girl was already gone. "Mommy says you have to watch me!" She heard the child's whisper come from above. Nyota stole a quick look up at the moon. It was big and bright and visible and full. _She_ was safe.**

**Nyota continued on, racing through the cool grass and still earth. Before she knew it, the stars changed. They shone brighter and appeared closer than ever before. They lit up and enhanced the sky, the same way sprinkles perked up a scoop of ice cream. She did love ice cream… and she loved stars just as much. After all, she _was_ a shining star.**

**Her kite was playing and swooping among the glittering plasma balls. Nyota's breath came out in foggy puffs of air. She slowed down slightly… why was it so cold? What was happening?**

**"Stars are misleading…" Her mother's voice spoke out of nowhere. "They may appear to be close, to be just beyond the clouds, but in reality they may already be gone. The time it takes for their light to reach us might exceed a star's actual lifespan. So, in reality, you're looking at something that isn't even there."**

**"But _I'm_ here, Mom, I'm here!!" Nyota shouted out, looking around for her Mother. More white clouds formed in the sky… and Nyota could feel the air getting even colder. She shivered slightly.**

**"Yes, my love… but I'm not." Her mother answered ominously. "Be sure to watch the moon when I'm gone." Nyota let go of the kite… and it ascended up into the skies, vanishing from her sight. She sat down and stared up at the moon, taking in its brilliance. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close to her chest. It was so cold. And then… without warning… it began to snow.**

**Nyota stood up in surprise, looking this way and that. There were big, fluffy flakes all around her. Snow clouds had taken over the sky… and she couldn't see the moon anymore. The moon was gone. She screamed noiselessly and started dashing around. But the snow was everywhere, it covered everything and it slowed her down. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't run faster, and she couldn't see the moon, her moon, her little moon. Her little moon was gone.**

**And that was when it appeared. Nyota glared at the object obstructing her endeavors. The bloodstained, jagged knife stood upright in the deep snow, as if someone had deliberately _stabbed_ the snow. The knife was before her… and what could she do? She could do nothing. Nyota turned around and gave up her search. The snow had taken the moon… and there was nothing she could do about it.**

**Nyota ran and ran and ran until she couldn't see the snow anymore. The black sky became blue and the clouds receded. There was a golden bridge in front of her. It led to elsewhere… where there was no snow or knives or lonely voices. She ran across the golden bridge… and the sun, the brightest star of all, enveloped her. The light blinded her, overtook her… and she welcomed it. Nyota relinquished her soul; she let the sun conquer her. And at that time, she became nothing…**

* * *

Uhura woke up with tears streaming down her face for the first time in years. She furiously wiped them away, her dead mother's voice still echoing in her ears. She leapt out of bed, hissing angrily at her own vulnerability. The teen stalked into her bathroom and turned the light on, staring at her pathetic, haggard face in the mirror. It infuriated her. Why was she so weak? What the hell was wrong with her? She was better than this, she was **stronger** than this. She was pissed. And she used her fury to mask her pain.

Before she knew it, Uhura was punching the mirror angrily, screaming the word over and over again until her voice was hoarse: "Putain!" She finally stopped when she saw her cracked face in the mirror, blood covering some parts of her features. Her eyes strayed to her left hand. Her knuckles were raw and bleeding. Her hand would hurt tomorrow. There was blood in the sink, too. She turned the faucet on, watching as the water slowly rinsed the blood away.

"It wasn't even a fucking knife." Uhura allowed herself to speak out loud, her own voice making the situation all the more real. "It was a gun." She cursed her imagination, cursed her unconsciousness. She wondered if Dr. Morrison had played some horrible psychological trick on her, some nasty way of making her think about things she never wanted to think about. Had he planted some sort of masochistic seed in her brain?

The teen's eyes filled with tears again and she cursed again as she drooped to the floor, wrapping arms around her knees and burying her head in them, her own hair enveloping her like a curtain. Her hand stung. She hated blood, hated it. She bawled for a good five minutes.

Rapidly, she sat up straight, covering her mouth with her hands. She couldn't stop her body from shaking, but she _could_ stop herself from screaming. She couldn't stop the soft sobs from escaping her mouth, but she _could_ calm her mind. The teen coughed a few times and then wiped her tears away. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes, immersing herself in darkness.

_I need to take care of this hand so I can go to bed. Then tomorrow, I'm buying a new mirror._ Uhura stood up, forcing herself to be strong. She was better than this. She was not weak. She refused to give in. _I'll go to the bookstore and buy another Klingon book._ Dr. Morrison was right. She had been neglecting her linguistics.

She made her way to the sink and splashed some water on her face. Then she gently washed her hand, making sure there was no glass embedded in it. Finally, she covered it with a bandage, not too tight, but not too loose. The whole time, Uhura kept her breathing deep and still.

_I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay._ Uhura slowly walked back to her bedroom. She lied back down under the covers, staring at the moonlight that filtered through her curtain-covered window. She repeated this over and over, like a mantra until sleep finally took her.

* * *

_This has probably been the worst vacation of my life._ Uhura thought wryly as she sat down on her couch, sipping some tea. It was the morning after… and she was beat. She knew that in this condition, she couldn't possibly deal with Spock. She knew herself and she knew her limits. She was letting Spock get way too close. It was time to put some distance in between them. They were supposed to go to the beach today. He had never been to a beach before. And it seemed nice enough outside. But she couldn't do it anymore. Not after what happened yesterday. It was all too much for her.

She liked to think that she handled it well, considering the circumstances. She liked to think that a weaker person wouldn't have been able to handle it. Then again… Uhura stole a look at her bandaged hand. Perhaps a lesser person would have thrown the mirror completely trashed the bathroom… and then flooded the entire room… and possibly lit everything on fire. Yes, what was a broken mirror compared to a demolished apartment? Nyota Uhura had coped just fine. At least, that's what she told herself.

Uhura looked around for her PADD. She would just have to cancel on Spock. It was a shitty thing to do, but it had to be done. They could go to the beach another day. And just because she was on vacation, didn't mean they had to spend every single mome-

Someone knocked on her door smoothly. Frowning vaguely, Uhura set her tea down and walked over to her door. Judging by the sound of the knock, she already knew who it was. Grumbling to herself, she swung the door wide open, her frown deepening as she saw Spock standing there. What the hell was his problem? The Vulcan was holding some tiny bag full of delicious-smelling pastries. She eyed the bag suspiciously. He knew her too well.

Spock raised an eyebrow at her reaction and held the bag out to her. "Pour l'amour de Dieu…" Uhura scowled and snatched the bag right out of his hand.

"Pardon me?" Spock titled his head to one side. If her hand wasn't burning, she would have punched him with it.

"Nothing." Uhura narrowed her dark eyes, talking through her teeth. "Come right in." She unconsciously sniffed the air. Her mouth watered.

"If I may recall, you have shown up at my residence unannounced before, have you not?" Spock even smiled at her. He was _enjoying_ this. She was going to kill him. She was going to kill him. And no one would ever know. Uhura whirled around and stomped back into her apartment. She might as well go put on her fucking bathing suit. It was impossible for her to say no to him. But she was going to make him suffer. It would be her skimpiest bikini. **Ever.**

* * *

**Putain = Fuck (French)**

**Pour l'amour de Dieu = For God's sake (French)**

**Please review and tell me what you thought of it and if I made a mistake, please let me know! I hope you liked it! **

**Thanks so much for reading! I haven't started Chapter 5 yet, but I will. :)  
**


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